FEARLESSNESS
by Munchkin79
Summary: "If you can't trust your partner, Elliot, it's time to get a new one."
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Trust me :) **

"_If you can't trust your partner, Elliot, it's time to get a new one."_

Her own words from years ago echoed in her brain as Olivia swallowed her tears and stormed out of the precinct with Elliot hot on her heels.

He always followed.

She had barely made it down the steps when he grabbed her arm, halting her quick stride. He was breathing hard and his eyes flashed with anger and hurt. Olivia looked away, not wanting to back down, knowing the moment she made eye contact she would soften.

"Fuck, Olivia, you can't keep doing this! You can't threaten to end our partnership every time I piss you off."

"Let go of me, Elliot. I can't do this anymore." She wrenched her arm from his grip and continued down the precinct steps and onto the crowded city streets, never looking back.

Elliot shook his head as he watched her retreating form. Maybe it was time to give up and just let her go. He was tired of fighting and tired of the emotional rollercoaster that was their relationship. Just when things seemed content and peaceful between them, one of them had to go and fuck it all up again.

This time it was him. It usually was.

He sighed as he lowered himself onto the cold concrete step. Elliot wasn't sure how to fix this particular screw up, but he knew he would suffer until he figured it out. He could never feel completely at ease when Olivia was this upset with him.

**{EO}**

Captain Cragen sat at his desk feeling somewhat shell shocked. He had been used to his best team going at it over the years, but lately things had been quiet. Maybe too quiet? He thought that perhaps something was brewing and waiting to bubble over. That day was before him.

He had sent them out on a case involving a professor who was raped walking to her car on the Columbia University campus the previous night. The similarities to Olivia's mother's case were startling and Cragen knew she would struggle internally. As hard as she tried, Olivia had never truly made peace with her past, how she came to enter this world. He'd expected her to have a difficult time. He'd even expected Elliot to be overprotective. What he hadn't expected was what had just take place in his office.

**{EO}**

The cold wind whipped against Olivia as she made her way to the downtown 1 train. She usually didn't take the subway home, but in her haste, she had left the precinct without her purse and only had a few dollars in her pocket. As she descended the steps and purchased her ticket, she thought that the atmosphere suited her mood just fine anyway. The smell of stale urine and body odor permeated the air around her as she slid her card in the slot and passed through the turn style to wait for her train. The image of her mother, lying dead on the cold and filthy ground briefly flashed in her mind's eye. Shaking her head as if to erase the vision, her thoughts turned back to her argument with Elliot.

After thirteen years, he still didn't think she was strong enough to keep her emotions in check. He still didn't trust her completely. He still didn't think she could handle the job.

It hurt…badly.

The first sign of melancholy she expressed during their investigation of the crime scene, he had gone straight to Cragen, insisting she be taken off the case because she was too closely involved. Too invested to work with a clear head.

Well fuck him.

Olivia was sick of Elliot deciding things for her and it was time for him to realize that she could survive in and out of the field without his help. She had immediately requested a transfer to Brooklyn SVU much to Elliot and Cragen's horror.

It was time for her to prove to herself that she did not need Elliot Stabler.

**{EO}**

It had been three days with no response from Olivia. Elliot had tried calling her a few times each day and even showed up at her apartment twice. He knew that if he could just get her to listen to him, she would understand that he was only trying to shield her from pain. That was all he ever wanted to do for her.

Olivia had always seen his actions as a lack of faith in her abilities as a detective…as an act of control.

In reality, he was only acting out of love and fear.

Seated slumped over on the stained carpet outside of her apartment door, Elliot realized how crazy he would look whenever Olivia decided to come home. He had been waiting for over an hour with a box of pizza as a peace offering. At the moment though, he didn't care how it looked to her, he just wanted to get through to her and do what he could to convince her not to leave Manhattan SVU…not to leave _him_.

His body stiffened as he heard heeled footsteps clicking against the steps in the stairwell and he held his breath as she flung open the door to her floor and started down the hall in his direction.

Olivia tilted her head and furrowed her brow at him as she stood over his rumpled form. "What are you doing here, Elliot?"

Her stance was wide, strong. One hand on her hip and the other rifling through her coat pocket for her keys.

Elliot pushed himself up and stood so that they were practically nose to nose. "I need to talk to you, Olivia," he rumbled, his lips close enough to hers for him to feel her quickened breaths.

Her heart raced and she looked away, stepping back and unlocking the door. "Just go home, El. There's nothing left to talk about. I start with Brooklyn SVU on Monday and that's all there is to it." She stepped into her apartment but was stopped in her tracks, feeling the heat from Elliot's rough hand on the nape of her neck.

"Liv, stop. Just talk to me…don't do this."

"I have to," she whispered.

He swallowed hard and removed his hand. "Just tell me how to fix this. We always fix it."

Olivia turned to look him in the eyes, her own moist with unshed tears. "Not this time." She took a deep breath before continuing. "I don't _need_ you, Elliot…and it's time you learned that."

Elliot narrowed his eyes at her and took a step back. "So that's what this is about? You're punishing me? Trying to teach me a fucking lesson like I'm a child?"

"I have to do this for myself, to prove –"

"I don't want to hear it!" He stepped into her and gently fisted his hand in her hair at the back of her head. "You _do_ need me, Olivia," he growled against her ear. "And you'll be back…you always come back." With that he released her and walked out of the apartment leaving her wide eyed and breathing hard.

"Screw you, Elliot!" She shouted down the hallway.

He stopped in his tracks and tossed over his shoulder sardonically, "No chance of that happening _now_."

She was going to punch him. It took all of the restraint she had to reenter her apartment and slam the door closed and not go after him to claw his eyes out.

Fuck, she hated him.

But she didn't.

**{EO}**

He couldn't believe the words actually left his lips.

He just, more or less, told Olivia Benson that she had no chance of ever screwing him.

God, he could really be stupid. He had gone over to talk things through and convince her to stay, but damn if the woman didn't bring out the fury in him sometimes.

He loved it -most of the time, but now the game was over. She was really going to leave…and possibly never come back. Especially after the things he said.

Shit.

Elliot knew Olivia would take his words as a challenge and that she was just stubborn enough to cut him out of her life completely. He also knew, unfortunately, he was equally as stubborn.

Reality slapped him in the face along with the cold air as he walked out of her apartment building.

This really could be it. She was dead serious this time. She was fucking leaving him again.

All he could do at this point was let her go and hope for the best.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you so much to all those who are reading and reviewing! I've got a lot planned for this story…hope you continue to enjoy! **

Olivia was going on three months with Brooklyn SVU and was just beginning to find her stride with the new precinct. She'd kept the promise she'd made to herself and never looked back once she left the one six. She was proving that she could do her job and live her life without Elliot and not fall apart like he thought she would.

At least that's what she kept telling herself.

He hadn't called. She hadn't called. It was killing her.

She wondered if all she and Elliot had was bound within the confines of their partnership…the job. Maybe she misread the shift in their relationship that she'd perceived in the months before she left.

As pissed off at him as she was, before their last fight, she had truly thought they were heading to the next level in their long relationship. He and Kathy had separated eight months prior, and they had become increasingly affectionate with lingering touches and glances. He'd even cut his trip to Quantico short to be with her after Sonya died. He was the only one she could find comfort and security in at a time like that, and they both knew it.

But now she had to be strong on her own. She didn't have him to rely on when times got tough and that's exactly what she wanted…wasn't it?

Olivia sighed as she glanced across her desk at Detective Bradford, a wave of nausea hitting her like a ton of bricks. The truth was she didn't _want_ a new partner. She didn't want to leave the unit that had practically defined who she was for at least thirteen years of her life. She didn't want to not trust Elliot and especially didn't want Elliot not to trust her. But she'd made her choice and she was trying her best to move forward.

She shifted in her chair and sighed. As terribly as she missed him and as much as she didn't feel whole without him by her side, she was still angry about what he'd done.

Fortunately, one positive thing that happened since Olivia had switched precincts was that her new partnership was relatively drama free. Detective David Bradford was a bit rough around the edges, about five years younger than Olivia, but he was a damn good cop. He was also funny as hell and helped her learn to laugh and appreciate the little things in life. She felt lucky to have him. There was just one thing about him that she couldn't tolerate.

He wasn't Elliot.

Olivia nearly jumped out of her chair as a pair of strong hands squeezed her shoulders from behind.

"Whoa, sorry, Olivia," he chuckled. "Why so jumpy today?"

Then there was Jim. Olivia had met him a little over a month ago when she'd gone out for drinks one night with her new unit. He was a Nassau County police officer that met up with her partner in the city after his shift. He'd seemed to be immediately taken with her and Olivia was feeling lonely.

Olivia smiled when she saw the goofy grin on his face now. Jim Lazetti was incredibly handsome. Dark brown hair, amazing green eyes, and a smile that always triggered one of her own. He was charming and sweet, and he had come home with her that first night. As much as she despised one night stands, she allowed herself to let go just once with the attractive officer.

It had been incredible. Jim was attentive and focused on her pleasure before his own. They had gone on a number of dates since that night and he was helping her fill the void that existed after she left Elliot. There was just one nagging thought in the back of her mind that something about him just wasn't right, and it plagued Olivia from time to time. She chose to ignore it because they were having such a good time together.

"Hey, Jim…I'll be done here in just a minute, and then we can go to dinner."

"No rush, Gorgeous. I'll just harass your partner here until you're ready to go," he said as he put Bradford in a headlock.

"Fuck off, dude, I'm trying to work here!" Bradford shoved him away as Olivia rolled her eyes at the men roughhousing before her.

"Boys never really grow up, do they?" She smirked at the two as she logged off of her computer and grabbed her jacket.

**{EO}**

_Elliot moaned as her hot, wet tongue swirled around the head of is erection. He fisted the bed sheets as she drove him closer to the edge, his body breaking out into a sweat. Every muscle of his body clenched as her mouth then swallowed him completely, causing the air to rush from his lungs. He wasn't going to last much longer if she kept this up and he nearly lost it when her dark eyes connected with his as she slowly ran her tongue over his tip. Finally, unable to hold back, he squeezed his eyes shut and lost all control_.

"Olivia! Fuck!"

"Elliot? Wake up; you're having another one of those nightmares about your old partner again!"

Elliot gasped for air and nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt Tracie shaking him awake. This time his dream was so vivid, he'd been sure it was actually happening. He blinked a few times and ran a hand over his face as he caught his breath.

He looked over at the women he had been seeing casually for the past two months with an apology etched in his expression. "Sorry, Tracie…I didn't mean to wake you." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze before getting out of bed and heading to her refrigerator for a bottle of water.

"It's ok…you want to talk about it? I know you never do, but you shouted really loudly this time."

Elliot took a long sip from the cold bottle and screwed the top back on as he shook his head at himself. "No, Trace…it's okay…just go back to sleep. I'm going to get dressed and head home." He reentered the room and pulled on the jeans and t-shirt discarded on the bedroom floor just a few hours earlier.

Tracie slumped back against her headboard in disappointment. "You know you can stay the night every now and then, Elliot." She looked down at her hands, avoiding eye contact.

Elliot sighed as he tied his sneakers. He genuinely felt bad for Tracie. He had been having almost nightly sexual dreams about Olivia since she left and he thought dating someone new would help him to forget. Help him to move on and let go of the fact that she left him again. That she still hadn't come back.

Tracie was a sweet woman, but he knew she wanted more from him than he could give. The few times they'd slept together had been nice if not a little awkward, but Elliot enjoyed her company and especially enjoyed the feeling of being wanted by an attractive woman after the deep rejection he felt at Olivia's departure from his life.

God, he felt pathetic sometimes. He had a perfectly good woman that looked at him with stars in her eyes, yet he couldn't bring himself to feel more for her than companionship.

Olivia was still driving him crazy, even though she'd been gone for over three months.

The comfort he sought from Tracie was just not worth the potential pain he would put her through from leading her on. He knew he needed to break things off, but wasn't sure how, seeing as that they weren't seriously dating to begin with. He looked over at her and watched as her heated gaze raked up his body and she licked her lips.

"You sure you don't want to stay a bit longer?" She gave him a sexy smile and tilted her head in question.

Elliot briefly considered the offer before shaking his head at her. "I'm sorry, Trace…I really have to get going. Early morning tomorrow, but I'll call you when I get off, okay?" He pressed a quick kiss to her lips and turned to leave.

"This isn't working for you anymore, is it, Elliot?" Her voice was quiet and it made his heart sink.

He felt guilty bringing her into his life when his heart belonged to someone else. She deserved better.

"We'll talk later. Want to meet for dinner around seven?" He couldn't hurt her while the room still smelled of sex and she sat there half naked. He also needed time to collect his thoughts.

Tracie turned her back to him, lowering back down under her comforter. "Yeah, that's fine. Talk to you later," she said shortly. She knew what was coming.

Elliot stared at her for a moment before leaving the room and her apartment, locking the door behind him.

**{EO}**

The following day, Olivia and David had closed a particularly difficult case and wanted to celebrate catching the bastard responsible for over six counts of child molestation. They were both exhausted, but at the same time, too wired to fall asleep.

"Hey, Livia, why don't you call my man Jim and invite him out for some drinks with us. We really should celebrate tonight and I know he'd love to see you again."

Olivia furrowed her brow at her partner in confusion. "David, you know we just went out last night, right?"

David smiled knowingly. "Yeah, but I gotta tell you…Jim's got it bad. All the poor slob does is talk about you these days. Kinda makes me queasy, but I guess I'm happy for you two." He elbowed her side, causing her to laugh.

"Bradford, we've only been dating for two months." Her stomach dropped with anxiety. "We're just having fun…"

"Yeah, yeah…well, if you ask me, he's too good for you, Benson." He chuckled at the dirty look she shot his way. "I'm just sayin'…he's looking for a wife and you aren't the type to settle down from what I can tell."

Olivia stared at him, knowing he was just teasing her, but absorbing weight of his words all the same.

No, she wasn't the type to "settle down" with just anyone.

Shoving thoughts of Elliot down, she decided to call Jim.

A little over and hour later, Olivia, Jim and David made their way into Flannigan's Pub. Jim's arm was wrapped around her waist, pulling her close as they walked up to the bar to order their drinks in the lively pub.

"I'm glad you called me tonight," he whispered, his lips tickling her ear.

Olivia smiled and turned to wrap her arms around his neck, pressing a gentle kiss against his soft lips. She could do this. This is what it felt like to be in a normal, healthy relationship. One where she didn't have to question the guy's feelings for her and there was nothing unsettling. One that didn't consist of heated arguments and a rollercoaster of emotions. She finally felt as though she was proving to herself that she could have a satisfying life on her own. One that did not involve an overprotective, overly brooding and sometimes infuriating partner. Both Bradford and Jim appeared to trust her implicitly and she felt confident again.

She also felt bored as hell.

"Get a freaking room, you two!" Bradford shot them a look of mock disgust as he handed them two beers. He then held up his glass in a toast. "To new beginnings." The three clinked their glasses together and took a drink.

Olivia smiled, but thought of her old life, feeling a bit uneasy.

Oblivious, Jim ran a hand through her hair and kissed her cheek. As they turned to find an empty booth, Olivia bumped into someone, spilling beer all over his shirt.

"Hey, watch where you're-"

She couldn't breathe. Her chest ached.

With wide eyes and barely a whisper. "Elliot."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks again to all who have reviewed! This chap is rated M! Heh heh... Enjoy…**

Elliot's heart hammered in his chest as soon as his eyes connected with hers'. "Olivia," he breathed.

She cleared her throat and turned to grab a bunch of napkins from the bar. "Sorry, Elliot…I ruined your shirt." She began to awkwardly pat down his chest, the cold beer soaking into the bunched up brown paper napkins. "What are you doing here?"

His hands stopped her from continuing. The last thing he could stand right now was her touching him. He was supposed to be meeting Tracie at the bar in five minutes to break things off and now his prepared speech was long forgotten.

They stared at one another, breathing heavily, Elliot still holding Olivia's wrists tightly in his hands. He opened his mouth to respond when he was interrupted by the asshole that had just had his hands and lips on his ex-partner.

"Everything okay, buddy? You might want to let her go now…it was an accident." Jim stretched out to his full height and took a step toward Elliot.

Bad move…_buddy_.

Attempting to divert a potential disaster, Olivia placed a hand on Elliot's shoulder once he released her wrists. "Jim, David, this is my old partner Elliot. Elliot, David is my partner and Jim is…um…"

"We're dating," Jim provided as he slipped his arm around Olivia's waist.

Olivia tried to regain her composure while everyone politely shook hands, Elliot's eyes never leaving her.

"Join us, Elliot…I'm sure Olivia would love to catch up with you."

Fucking Bradford.

"Um, David, I'm sure Elliot has other plans –"

"Actually, I'd love to catch up with my good friend Liv here." Elliot placed an arm around her shoulders and flashed a phony smile. "I'm meeting up with someone, but I'm sure she wouldn't mind having a drink with you guys."

Olivia's stomach dropped.

No good could come of this.

Fifteen minutes later David, Jim, Olivia, Elliot and Tracie sat awkwardly in a booth, sipping their drinks. Or in Elliot and Olivia's cases, chugging their drinks.

"So, um, Elliot, how long were you and Olivia partners before she transferred?" Olivia and Elliot's eyes met briefly from across the table before Elliot responded to Jim's seemingly innocent question, downing half of his beer bottle beforehand as Tracie nervously looked on. "Over thirteen years."

Jim let out a low whistle. "Damn, now that's unbelievable…especially in your unit." He placed his hand over Olivia's on the table, oblivious to Elliot's expression of disgust. "How come you never told me that, Olivia?"

Olivia's eyes widened when she felt Elliot's foot run down her leg under the table. "Yeah, how come, Liv?"

Kicking his shin lightly to halt his actions, Olivia cleared her throat and turned toward Jim. "I don't know…guess it just never came up." She then addressed the rest of the table. "Anyone else want a refill?" She asked as she began to stand.

She was stopped by Elliot's heavy hand on her shoulder. "None for us, thanks. Tracie and I are going to grab our own table for dinner, but it was really great meeting you guys." Tracie and Elliot slid out from the booth and then he stared directly at Olivia for a long moment, making everyone shift uncomfortably. "We'll talk later, Olivia."

Olivia shivered and watched as Elliot placed his hand on the small of Tracie's back to guide her to a nearby table. Her nails dug into the vinyl booth as she felt a flash of anger and jealousy course through her body.

Olivia couldn't help it. She kept stealing glances over at Elliot and his "friend" and it was driving her crazy. She tried to participate in the lighthearted conversation taking place in her booth between Jim and David, but she found it difficult to stay focused.

Moments later she watched out of the corner of her eye as Tracie stood abruptly from her and Elliot's table and left the bar, visibly upset. She then saw Elliot rest his face in his hands and slump forward, shoulders lowered and she took another shot from the row of glasses in the middle of the table as she saw him walk over to the bar and order one of his own.

Elliot turned toward her then, his eyes boring into her before lowering down her body. She felt her cheeks flush as she then caught his stare. He gave her a lopsided smile and she turned away, trying to gather her thoughts.

Olivia took a few deep breaths and looked at the new men in her life as they laughed about some story from their college days. She was dizzy with so many conflicting thoughts as she glanced back at Elliot again. Deciding to head to the ladies room to get some space and calm down, she excused herself from the table and made her way down the dark, empty hallway that led to the restrooms.

Just as she was about to pull the handle on the bathroom door, Olivia felt a warm hand run down her bare arm.

"Talk to me." Elliot's voice was a low raspy whisper that quickened Olivia's pulse.

When she turned around to face him, he crowded her into the corner near the restroom door, placing his forearms on either side of her face. His lips skimmed her cheek and his breath was hot against her ear. "Come home with me," he growled lowly.

"What-," she swallowed harshly, "what the hell do you think you're doing, Elliot? I'm here with Jim and we haven't spoken in months…" She paused when he ran his fingertips down her neck and sides, stopping to grip her hips and push her into his forming erection.

"I know you want to come, Liv." He smirked at his double entendre.

Groaning, Olivia tried to ignore the heat coursing through her body and the raw desire radiating from Elliot. He had never spoken to her or touched her this way and she knew the alcohol had done a lot to lower his inhibitions. She was feeling a pleasant buzz herself as she gave in momentarily and raised her right eyebrow, giving him a seductive gaze. "What makes you so smug, Elliot…I haven't talk to you in months. You have no idea what I want," she whispered against his ear before running her tongue over the shell.

Elliot closed his eyes at the sensation and inhaled sharply. "I know that you've missed me."

"Elliot, you are such a-"

"I know because I've missed you too, Liv…and I should have done this months ago." He then crashed his lips against hers, immediately slipping his warm tongue between her lips to tangle with hers. He groaned lowly as Olivia weakened and wrapped her arms around him tightly, rolling her hips against him.

Pressing her further into the dark corner, he backed up slightly to unbutton and unzip her dress pants causing her to squirm in his arms and break the heated kiss.

"Elliot, you've lost your fucking mind…we really should stop this now."

He slowly slid two fingers into her satin panties, never breaking eye contact with her. He smirked again as she gasped in shock. "I don't think you want to stop…doesn't _feel_ like you want to stop," he growled lowly as he rubbed his fingertips against her clit, then slid them lower to dip slightly into her wet heat.

Olivia exhaled sharply and leaned her head back against the wall, trying her best not to moan. It felt like a dream. Just two hours ago, she would never have imagined seeing Elliot again, let alone what was happening at the moment…in a bar…outside of a restroom…while the guy she was dating sat twenty feet away.

Oh. God.

She had to stop this. "El, don't," she muttered weakly. The haze of alcohol and pleasure took over as Elliot's fingers curled inside her, stroking slowly. She couldn't move. She couldn't push him away. Elliot being with her this way was what she'd wanted for years.

"Don't?" Elliot asked, his lips skimming hers. He stopped the movement of his fingers and started to pull out of her body as he awaited her answer.

She squeezed her internal muscles tight around his fingers as she breathed heavily into the darkness. She felt a burning heat as he hovered over her. "Don't…stop. Don't stop," she breathed.

"Come here," Elliot pulled her into the single restroom, locking the door and dropping to his knees on the dirty tile floor in front of her.

Olivia moaned loudly as he yanked her pants and panties down and his lips closed around her clit. She felt herself being backed against the wooden door and gripped his shoulders as he continued the movement of his fingers along with the lapping of his relentless tongue. His free hand reached to grab her ass tightly, his fingers digging into her flesh. "Oh my God, Elliot…what are we doing?"

She couldn't breathe. Various emotions swirled through her head as the small room spun around her, but she couldn't make sense of any of them at the moment. She scratched at his scalp and pushed him against her harshly.

"Shit!"

"Mmmm." Elliot hummed against her shooting vibrations of pleasure up and down her body. His head moved slowly from side to side as he continued to flick his tongue rapidly against her.

"Oh, I'm coming, El…oh God. Don't stop…_please! _Fuck!" She shattered violently then slowly sank down against the door, trying to catch her breath.

Elliot removed his fingers and cupped her face; capturing her lips over and over until he was satisfied that Jim would be the last fucking thing on her mind. "Come home with _me_," he repeated, murmuring against her lips. "Get rid of them."

Still panting, Olivia nodded, staring at his piercing blue eyes. "Okay."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Ok, so…again I'll say TRUST ME ;) LOL Thanks for the lovely reviews and don't forget to let me know what you think after this chap! Hope you enjoy…this chap is longer than my usual!**

Olivia nervously led Elliot to the bar where they promptly downed one more shot each before heading over the booth she was sitting at with Jim and David. Gathering up her liquid courage and trying to tamp down the heat still coursing through her veins from both Elliot's "attack" and the alcohol, she took a deep breath and slid into the booth while Elliot remained standing beside her.

"Hey guys-"Her voice shook. "-um, if you don't mind, Elliot and I are going to grab some coffee down the block and catch up. I mean, um, it's been so long since we've seen each other and …" she trailed off and her heartbeat quickened as she glanced at Elliot who had discreetly put the fingers that were just inside of her under his nose and breathed in her lingering scent, a slow smile settling onto his face. She lost all coherent thought for a moment.

"Sure, Olivia…you don't have to explain it to us!" David's booming voice startled her from her drunken, lust filled haze.

"You feeling okay though?" Jim eyed her curiously, then looked over at Elliot. "You are all flushed. You sure you just don't want me to take you home?" Jim began to stand as Elliot and Olivia simultaneously responded.

"No!"

"Umm, okay then." Jim settled back into the booth and it was at that moment that Olivia knew. She knew that Jim knew what was going on. Or at least that _something_ was going on between the two ex-partners that was more than…partnerly.

A flash of guilt consumed her as she watched his face change with the realization.

"Jim, I-"

"Hey, no worries!" He waved her off. "I'll call you tomorrow or something." Jim then looked down and picked at the label on his beer bottle.

Olivia stood from the booth, swaying slightly and flashed the men an apologetic look. She nodded at Jim and gave him a sad smile before walking toward the bar with Elliot.

"One more shot before we go."

"Liv, we don't have to –"

"No. We need to talk anyway, Elliot. It was never that serious with Jim and he knew that. We never talked about being exclusive. I'll talk to him tomorrow."

Elliot stared at her for a moment before grabbing her hand and threading his fingers through hers. "Okay, one more shot." He leaned into her, his nose nuzzling against her cheek. "Then let's get the fuck out of here."

**{EO}**

"Were you falling in love with him?" Elliot asked as he ran his hand down Olivia's thigh. They had been sitting in traffic for the past ten minutes, the cab driver cursing periodically in a foreign language neither could identify.

Olivia stared out the window onto the busy city street, wondering what the fuck had gotten into her. Her thigh burned where Elliot was resting his hand and she knew this was wrong.

Yes, she and Jim were not exclusive, but she also knew he had deeper feelings for her. Feelings that she didn't yet reciprocate, but that maybe she could have some day. Maybe.

But all it took was one look, one touch, from Elliot to make her feel reckless. It scared the shit out of her. Her feelings for this man were more intense than anything she'd ever felt in her life.

She rested her head back on the cracked faux leather headrest and turned toward Elliot beside her. "I think you already know the answer to that."

Elliot ran both hands through her hair and pressed his forehead to hers. They closed their eyes for a moment as the sounds and sights of the city swirled around them.

He inhaled the seductive perfume emanating from her heated skin and tried to push away thoughts of whatever it is she had with another man. Tonight he was hers.

"I'm still mad at you," she breathed softly against his lips, smiling.

"Same here." He kissed the corner of her mouth before tightening his grip on her hair and lowering her down slowly onto the backseat.

He made her dizzy. Or was it the alcohol? Probably both, but all Olivia knew was that Elliot was pressing his rock hard erection against her and he wanted her. He wanted _her_.

Elliot lowered one hand to rest at the base of her throat and kissed her deeply, the two breathing renewed life into one another. A promise.

He tried to be gentle at first, but so much had been pent up for so long, he knew he couldn't stay that way. He dipped his tongue to touch hers and he released a wordless sound of contentment as he tasted her. She tasted of alcohol and desire. Elliot grabbed one of her soft hands and pressed it to his heart, allowing her to feel the rapid rhythm.

Olivia moaned into his mouth, arching into Elliot as she slid her hand across his chest to start to unbutton his blue dress shirt. "I want you," she murmured against his lips.

The two were shaken from the moment by the cab driver loudly clearing his throat. "Ten fifty," he grumbled, glaring at them in disgust.

Olivia chuckled as she pushed Elliot off of her. "Sorry." She blushed as Elliot paid the driver and yanked her out of the cab.

They stumbled up the stairs and into Elliot's second floor, two bedroom apartment, stopping to make out like teenagers every few steps.

"What the fuck?"

Olivia laughed hysterically as Elliot tripped over a pair of shoes in his living room, causing him to fall to the floor.

"You think that's funny, do you?" He tugged on her hand until she fell on top of him, the two laughing into the dark apartment; the only light coming from the glow emanating from a street lamp outside of his window. The only sound was their laughter and bated breaths.

"I think it's hilarious," she hiccupped as she tried to catch her breath.

"Oh yeah?" He rolled on top of her and pulled her arms above her head, holding her wrists in one hand against the rough carpet. Elliot smiled as she gasped in surprise, abruptly cutting off her beautiful laughter. A sound he hadn't heard in months. "Not so funny now, huh?" He dragged his free hand over her breast, and stomach, stopping at the button on her pants, quickly popping it open and pulling down the zipper.

Olivia wrapped her legs around his hips, her thoughts flashing back to their actions in the bathroom of Flannigan's Pub. Impulsive. Frenzied. She groaned with the memory of Elliot's tongue bringing her to one of the most powerful climaxes she'd ever had. She squirmed beneath him now as he lifted her top and pulled down the strap of her bra, his lips skimming over the tops of her breasts.

"Let go of my wrists," she exhaled. As soon as he did, she reached down to rip the shirt from his body, causing tiny buttons to scatter across the floor. She smirked at him as she pulled his white undershirt over his head and quickly leaned forward to capture his lips in a scorching kiss. She flipped him over and pulled her own shirt over her head before running her hands down his chest and abs, sinking her nails into the skin over his hip bones. She then rocked over him as he leaned up to kiss her again and remove her lace bra.

Elliot broke the kiss to lay back and look at her. Her hair mussed and wild, her perfect breasts exposed with taut nipples, her golden skin glistening with a light sheen of sweat. He grew even harder at the sight and more still as her full lips parted, her tongue darting out to moisten them. The look in her eyes was as though she wanted to make him her next meal. The air rushed from his lungs as he gripped her hips tightly and pulled her down hard onto his still contained erection. "Fuck, you are so beautiful, Liv."

She bit her lip as his grip loosened so she could slide down his body, taking his jeans and boxer briefs with her. Tossing the clothing aside, she inhaled sharply at the man before her. Her body throbbed for him as she scratched her nails up and down the length of his torso, leaning over to run her tongue from base to the tip of his dick. She felt his body tense as she then nipped and kissed her way up his chest, sucking a nipple harshly between her lips.

Elliot hissed as he watched her through hooded lids. "Liv, _please_."

She pulled back briefly to remove her pants before hovering back over him. "Please what?" she teased as she skimmed her lips over the skin of his neck, sinking her teeth in lightly, tasting his cologne. She rubbed herself over him, her wetness seeping through her satin panties, as she grasped his face in her hands and leaned in to kiss him again. She felt her nipples become even more sensitive as they rubbed against his chest and a surge of need coursed through her body. She ground against him with more pressure; her breathes now coming in short pants. "Condom," she gasped.

Elliot looked at her curiously for a moment before her request registered in his lust filled mind. He smiled at the mischievous glint in her eye as she crawled off of him to let him up. "Bedroom," was all he managed to get out as she followed him out of the living area, into his room, and slid back onto the hunter green comforter the covered his bed.

He switched on his bedside lamp on the lowest setting, enough to cast a soft glimmer of light throughout the room, and then paused as he thought about all that happened this night, pushing the images of Olivia with Jim aside and of a distraught Tracie out of his mind. He swayed slightly, the alcohol still having some affect and reached into his drawer for a condom.

He was about to have sex with Olivia. Something about the encounter didn't feel quite right, but he didn't care enough to stop and figure it out what is was at the moment. Not while she was sprawled out on top of his queen sized bed wearing nothing but baby blue satin panties and a smile.

"Come here," she breathed, chest heaving in anticipation as she scanned the length of his incredible, hard body.

Elliot quickly rolled on the condom and pushed her down into the mattress, pressing his lips against hers in bruising kiss, twining his tongue with her own. He groaned as she dug her nails down the length of his back and ass while pushing her pelvis up against his.

He couldn't wait any longer. He'd already waited long enough. He licked and sucked his way down Olivia's throat and breasts, taking a moment to take a nipple between his teeth while simultaneously flicking his tongue against it.

"Ohh, feels so good." Olivia clung to his head while he worked the other nipple, driving her into a fevered state. "Now, El!"

Elliot looked up at her with an intense, heated gaze before lowering his body down past her stomach and hip to capture the side string of her bikini cut panties with his teeth. Holding eye contact with her, he dragged the panties over her hips and down her legs between his teeth and tossed them aside.

She was going to pass out. Her heart was beating out of control and her head was spinning, and not just from the shots from back at the bar. Olivia could barely suck air into her lungs as Elliot roughly kissed his way back up her legs, biting the inside of her thigh, while massaging her breast and pinching her nipple.

She was going to come and he wasn't even inside her yet.

Elliot hovered over her again, trembling slightly as he finally nudged at her entrance, one hand gripping the hair at the nape of her neck, the other looped under her arm. Plunging in with one slick thrust, they both gasped at the sensation.

"Fuuuck," he grated lowly. He immediately began moving inside of her, thrusting with a punishing rhythm. "You feel amazing, Liv…God."

Olivia couldn't speak, the feeling of Elliot being inside of her more than she could handle. He felt so good moving over her that all she could do was meet his rapid thrusts and hold on for dear life.

Elliot rotated his hips in a circular motion a few times and she was done for. Finally finding her voice, she cried out in a string of curses and wordless screams as she clenched her thighs tightly around his hips and gripped his shoulders, riding out a climax so intense a tear escaped her eye.

Elliot grunted as he watched her come and reached underneath to grip her ass and tilt her forward further. He ran one hand up her left leg and threw it over his shoulder as Olivia reached back to hold onto his headboard to keep her leverage.

"Oh, my God!" Elliot sunk his teeth into the inside of the ankle on his shoulder to muffle his shout, his body jerking uncontrollably as he came.

"Fuck!" Olivia absorbed the weight of his body as Elliot practically collapsed on top of her, covered in perspiration. "Elliot, that was-"

"Unreal," he finished her thought as he rolled off of her onto his back, and threw his arm over his eyes. "Shit," he breathed.

"Yeah…" Olivia shifted to lie in the nook where his neck and shoulder met, pressing a gentle kiss against him. "Wow."

Their breathy laughter filled the room before their breathing eventually evened out and they drifted off to sleep.

**{EO}**

Elliot startled awake three hours later, trying to orient himself as to where he was. When he looked over to see Olivia sleeping peacefully beside him, the memories of the previous hours flashed through his mind. His body ached and his head throbbed with pain.

What the hell had they done?

He remembered the bar. The beer, the shots…so many shots.

He remembered dragging her into the ladies room and convincing her to come home with him.

He remembered her making up an excuse to leave her partner and …

Jim. Fuck.

What the _hell_ had they done?

He looked over at Olivia again as he sat up in his bed, massaging his temple with his fingertips. What exactly had she said about Jim again? She had moved on and instead of letting her go, he'd fought for her to come back. But was it what _she'd_ wanted? He had to think and he couldn't do it with her naked body pressed up against him. They'd had too much to drink and she couldn't have really known what she was doing. Yes, he wanted Olivia, but he knew she had a new life he no longer fit in.

Elliot sighed as he quietly slipped out of his bed and pulled out a notepad and pen from his bedside table. He scribbled a few words before quickly dressing and leaving his apartment to get some air and head to the precinct for a shower.

He felt sick to his stomach and riddled with guilt. He hoped she'd forgive him someday.

Olivia woke to the shrill sound of an alarm clock flashing six am in bright red lights. Groaning, she rolled over in the bed and slammed her hand over the button to quiet the obnoxious sound that was making her head pound.

Yawning, she sat up and stretched, looking around the messy room and remembering the night before. Fear and panic were her first thoughts as she realized that Elliot was gone. Then, remembering everything they'd done, she became consumed with the feelings of guilt and anger at herself.

"Shit," she muttered into the empty room.

Taking a few deep breaths she began to calm, remembering how incredible the outcome of the evening was. Smiling, Olivia finally allowed herself to feel some excitement at the thought of she and Elliot finally getting together, so to speak. They still had a lot to talk about and work through, but she finally felt somewhat settled again.

She noticed that Elliot had left her a glass of water and a note on the bedside table. She smirked as she took a long sip of water and peered over at the note. The glass crashed to the ground, shattering into pieces as she read the words on the page before her.

_I'm sorry, Olivia. I would have given you everything, but it seems our time has passed._


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I promise I'm not actually evil! LOL ;)**

"Come on, Stabler, you've been moping around here looking like someone kicked your puppy for the past week. Will you just talk about it already?" Munch settled into the chair across from his partner of over three months and placed a mug of coffee on his desk.

Elliot scrubbed a hand over his weary face and took a sip from the steaming mug. His usually bright blue eyes were red rimmed and it looked as though he hadn't shaved in days. Glaring at Munch, he grumbled against the rim of his mug, "Mind your business, John."

Holding his hands up in defense, Munch peered over his dark glasses at Elliot. "Hey look, I'm only trying to help, partner. You look like hell and you haven't gone home to sleep in about a week." His voice lowered as he looked around him to make sure nobody was paying attention. "I'm worried about you, Elliot."

Sighing deeply, Elliot closed his eyes and sat back in his chair. "I'm an asshole."

Chuckling and not disagreeing, Munch shook his head at Elliot. "Why don't you just call her?"

Elliot's eyes shot open and he furrowed his brow. "Call who?"

"Whatever woman has you in this unfortunate and disheveled state, my friend."

"Shut up, John." Elliot rolled his eyes and stood from his chair, heading toward the men's room.

eoeoeo

The cool water rolled off his skin as Elliot stared at the distorted reflection in the mirror. He couldn't stop thinking about Olivia. He groaned as he patted his face down with a paper towel from the dispenser, thinking about how she felt, how she tasted, how she sounded when she called out his name. He hadn't been able to sleep in his bed since that night. He had instead been tossing and turning on the hard mattress in the cribs each evening reliving everything that had happened and how Olivia must have felt once she read his note.

As much as he was hurting, he knew she had to be hurting twice as much because of his harsh actions. He had been the one to convince her to come home with him. He had been the one to pursue her sexually.

He had been the one to leave her alone in his apartment with only a few scribbled words on a notepad as an explanation.

Elliot was the bastard in this situation and he knew it.

They say you always hurt the ones you love, but how about decimate? Humiliate? Disrespect? She would never forgive him…and he wouldn't blame her.

Elliot pulled his Blackberry from his jacket pocket and sighed. Looking at Olivia's number for the fifth time that this morning; it took all the restraint he had not to hit send. As much as he wanted to hear her voice and apologize for everything, Elliot still maintained that it was for the best not to call.

Olivia had seemingly been doing fine until he came back into her life. She'd left him in the first place and _she_ should have been the one to pursue _him_. Instead they had gotten drunk and he had practically taken advantage of her, knowing she was dating someone else.

He shoved the phone back into his pocket and swung the men's room door open, walking out into the precinct hall. He should let her go. He should go after her. He should stop thinking about it for a while.

**{EO}**

_She read the note three times before the words in front of her could register fully. "You son of a bitch," she'd whispered to the empty room. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and scrambled to find her clothing around Elliot's apartment. She quickly dressed and stood in the doorway of the bedroom, staring at the fucking note again. It was taunting her, mocking her, telling her what a naïve love-sick fool she'd been. Crumpling the paper into a tight ball, she launched it across the room followed by the bed side lamp. It smashed into pieces, not unlike her heart, as she tried to suck air into her lungs to regulate her ragged breaths. Blinking back her tears, she gathered the rest of her things and left, slamming the door behind her._

"Olivia…_Olivia_?" David nudged her shoulder, shaking her from her thoughts.

She released a long breath, causing the window that her temple was pressed against to fog up. Sitting up straight in the passenger seat of the sedan, Olivia then turned toward her partner with a pleading expression. "Please not now, David."

"If not now, then when, Benson? You've been avoiding my boy Jim's calls all week and we both know you went home with that old partner of yours the other night. What gives? You two had a thing?"

"Damn it, Bradford, my personal life is none of your concern! You have been bugging me all week to talk about it and I'm not going to, so you might as well just give up!"

"Come on now, Livia…when have you ever known me to just let things go?" He smiled and playfully elbowed her side.

Rolling her eyes, she softened somewhat, knowing that he was only being a concerned friend. "Look, David, I'm really sorry things didn't work out with Jim and me, but I'm going to meet up with him tonight to explain. As far as my past with Elliot, we will just leave it as that…past. Okay?"

"You totally love him, don't you?" David nodded knowingly.

"Shut up, David." Olivia crossed her arms over her chest and looked straight ahead at the building they had been canvassing for the past half hour. After a moment, she peered back in his direction. "Besides, it doesn't matter now anyway."

David groaned in mock annoyance and shifted in his seat to get more comfortable. "Just spill, will you Benson? We probably have at least another three hours to kill before this jackass perp gets home from work, so you might as well tell me what happened."

Olivia sighed loudly and laid her head back against the head rest. "Honestly, I wouldn't even know how to begin explaining my relationship, or lack thereof, with Elliot."

Disgusted. Disgusted was the exact word Olivia would use to describe her feelings about what happened with Elliot the previous week. She had been made to feel like crap before by other boyfriends and dates, but none of them had hurt her anywhere near the amount Elliot had.

He had used and discarded her like some cheap one night stand. It negated all of his kind words and actions prior.

How could she ever begin to explain all of this to David. How could she ever begin to explain how much she still wanted Elliot, despite everything that he'd done? That she still missed him, craved him…even loved him.

Yes, disgusted. She was disgusted by him and herself. David would never understand.

Fighting back tears, Olivia felt David's eyes boring into her, waiting for her to say more. She looked up at him trying to speak without words, but she knew that only worked with one other man.

David looked back at her in confusion. "Livia, it's okay. Forget I said anything. I didn't mean for you to get this upset." He fumbled around the words as he dug into his pocket removing a small packet of candy. Holding his hand out toward her, he offered a crooked, sad smile. "Jelly bean?"

Olivia laughed long and loud for the first time in a week. "Thank you, Bradford. You always know just what to say." She sniffed and wiped at the moisture that had formed under her eyes from both her sadness and from laughing at her partner's ridiculous, child-like peace offering.

**{EO}**

That night, Elliot decided it was time he went back to his apartment for the first time since Olivia had been there. He needed to get a decent night's rest for a change and try to move forward again. As he made his way toward his refrigerator, he thought about how amazing it was that the place he'd called home for the past two years no longer put him at ease. He thought about how over the past few months he'd lost not only his best friend, but the other half of his soul.

It made him ache.

He didn't bother to switch any lights on, finding comfort and quiet in the darkness. Elliot squinted against the bright light as he opened the refrigerator door to pull out a cold, long neck beer bottle, condensation forming immediately as it met the warmth of his hand.

He glanced over at his bedroom as he twisted off the cap and took a long pull, his heart skipping a beat as he recalled the night he and Olivia had shared. He inhaled deeply before downing the rest of the beer in one long swallow, tossing it into the recycling pail and reaching into the fridge for another. Elliot twisted the cap and repeated the process, only chugging down half of the bottle this time as he made his way into his bedroom.

Shit.

Even with only the light of a nearby street lamp shining through the slats of the blinds, he could see the shattered fragments of glass and ceramic. Elliot switched on the overhead light and saw the crumpled up note among the broken pieces. He sunk down on the unmade bed and scrubbed a hand down his face, fighting the self-rage begging to be released. Instead he exhaled sharply, releasing a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding since he walked into the room. He downed the rest of the beer and slammed the bottle on his wooden night stand before grabbing his pillow and a blanket and heading into the living room. He would not be sleeping in his bed tonight.

Elliot removed his shoes and clothing except for his boxer briefs and undershirt and settled onto his navy blue, thrift store sofa. Swallowing harshly, he reached over and grabbed his Blackberry from the coffee table and stared at her number again.

Fuck it.

He hit send this time.

His heart stopped as her phone rang four times before she answered. She said nothing, but he knew she was there.

"I can't stop thinking about you, Liv." His voice was a raspy whisper he didn't recognize.

"Then don't." She released a shaky breath.

"Don't? Olivia, I-"

"Don't stop thinking about me Elliot. I hope you think about me every day and realize what you've done…how you led me on, then woke up and changed your Goddamn mind." Her voice was even and low and it was then he realized the extent of the damage he had caused to their relationship.

"I'm sorry," he choked out, this was crushing him.

"I would have given you everything too…just so you know."

He kept his ear against the phone long after hearing the soft click of Olivia's and numbly listened to the dial tone.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank you again to all who have reviewed! It really inspires me to write more! This is going to be another rough one folks, but don't worry… too much! ;)**

"Thanks for meeting me, Jim." Olivia shifted uncomfortably in her chair and scanned the nearly vacant twenty four hour diner before her eyes met with his.

"I was actually really surprised to hear from you, but I'm glad you called." Jim settled in his chair and gave her a sheepish grin. "You do realize it's eleven at night on a Wednesday though right?"

She chuckled lightly and looked down at her napkin, mindlessly pulling it apart. "I'm sorry about the late hour, but I really needed to explain myself… I um, I haven't been fair to you."

Olivia sighed as she thought back to her conversation with Elliot two hours earlier. She had debated whether or not to even answer the phone when she saw his name flash on her caller ID, but as angry and hurt as she was, she'd wanted to hear his voice even more.

He made her feel so weak sometimes and she resented him for that.

Needless to say, she'd felt worse after she hung up on him and spent a half hour staring blankly at her dark television screen before it had suddenly hit her that she had promised herself that she would set things straight and properly say good bye to Jim. He didn't deserve what she'd done and even though they hadn't been dating exclusively, he was a good man that Olivia really did care for. She'd called him to meet with her and to her complete surprise he'd agreed.

Now, Jim rubbed his eye with the heel of his hand. "Look, Olivia, I'm not stupid. I know this has to do with your ex-partner. I know this -" he motioned between the two of them, "-is pretty much done in your eyes so whatever you have to say, please don't sugarcoat it, okay?"

Olivia blinked stupidly before her lips curled into a slight smirk. "You know me better than I thought, I guess. Jim, I need you to know that I'm aware I made a mistake and I'm sorry if –"

"Give us a chance, Olivia…just a chance. Is what you have with Elliot serious?"

She had no clue how to answer Jim's question. How do you define thirteen years of partnership and friendship that slowly developed into love, only to crash and burn in one night? Was what she had with Elliot serious?

"No," she practically whispered. "It's not." She took a deep breath and plastered a tight lipped smile on her face as she looked up at Jim.

"Then, what do you have to lose? You slipped up; we never talked about not seeing other people. We were having such a good time together, I thought."

"It's not that simple, Jim…"

"But it can be." He reached across the table to run his thumb over her hand. "Look, it's really late and we both have to be up early tomorrow. Let me take you out to dinner Friday night and we'll talk some more, okay? Just dinner."

Hearing the sincerity in his voice and seeing the expression of hope on Jim's handsome face, caused Olivia to relax her shoulders and smile back at him, although somewhat hesitantly. "Okay…just dinner."

**{EO}**

"Fuck!" Elliot's fist slammed against his locker, leaving a slight dent in metal door.

"Calm down, man. Beating the shit out of your locker ain't gonna help nothing."

"That son of bitch just walked, Fin. Who knows how many other girls are going to suffer now."

Fin released a sharp breath as he leaned against a locker beside Elliot. "I know that, Elliot, but you need to get your shit together. We've all been noticing how you been acting lately…since Liv left. I don't know what the deal is there, but you've been even worse the past week. Maybe you need to talk to someone about it or something."

Elliot glared at Fin as they walked back into the squad room. "Cap say something to you?"

"Nah, man, not to me, but it's pretty obvious you're going through something. You almost ripped that guy's head off during interrogation-"

"Bastard deserved worse!"

Fin nodded and sat at his desk. "It's out of our jurisdiction now. We gotta let it go."

"Elliot, in my office!" Cragen bellowed from across the squad room causing Elliot and Fin to exchange a weary glance.

"Shit," Elliot muttered under his breath as he made his way into the office, closing the door behind him. He began to pace in front of Cragen's desk as he spoke. "Listen, Cap…about that guy, he-"

"Save it, Elliot. I don't know or _want_ to know what's so obviously going on in your personal life that's affecting your job performance. Just take care of it and keep it out of the precinct, okay?"

Elliot stood still and furrowed his brow. "What'd you call me in here for then, Cap?" Now more curious, than agitated, Elliot sat down, noticing the photo of the perp they just let go, along with a pink slip in Cragen's hand.

"It's about Ramos. I know I said to let him go, but I need you to work this case in conjunction with Brooklyn SVU for a day. Apparently a Detective Bradford will be taking over as point person and I'll need you to fill him in tomorrow."

"Okay, not a prob…shit!" The color drained from Elliot's face as realization washed over him.

Brooklyn SVU…Olivia's partner…tomorrow.

Remembering to breathe and seeing that Cragen was eying him with confusion, he cleared his throat and continued. "Uh, yeah, Cap, that's fine." He snatched the slip and photo from Cragen's hand and began to walk out of his office.

"Elliot, is this going to be a problem? I could send Munch instead if you don't think you can handle running into her."

Elliot turned to face his Captain, seeing understanding in his eyes, but also taking his words on as a challenge. "There's no problem," he replied confidently. "We have to nail this guy." He shook the photo of the perp in his hand, before turning to leave.

This was going to be torture.

**{EO}**

The following morning, Elliot reluctantly made his way into the Brooklyn SVU, not knowing what to expect when he came face to face with Olivia for the first time after he'd left her alone in his apartment. He knew her well enough to know that she would have one of two reactions; anger or avoidance, both stemming from hurt.

He sighed as he saw the familiar face seated before him. Reaching a hand out in invitation, he tried his best to plaster on a half-smile. "Hey, Bradford." Elliot gave a short nod at the man who was looking back at him with an expression of apprehension.

David looked just as thrilled about the situation as he was.

"Hey, Stabler, have a seat." David gave Elliot's hand a firm shake and then motioned to the chair across from his desk.

Olivia's chair. David's partner. Olivia.

He could do this.

"For fuck's sake, grow up Stabler", he thought to himself. It was just like him to make things more awkward than they had to be whenever it came to Olivia.

The chair creaked with his weight as Elliot settled into it and he could swear he still felt the warmth she'd left behind. His heart gave a quick jolt. Releasing a long breath, he cleared his mind and prepared to focus on the task at hand.

"Look, Elliot, I know this is kind of…I don't know, um, fucked up?" They both chuckled uneasily. "Olivia is in court all day, so why don't you just fill me in on this asshole Ramos that's been kidnapping little girls?"

David's easy going demeanor immediately calmed him and Elliot sunk deeper into the chair; his shoulders relaxing, knowing that he wouldn't be running into Olivia after all, and that maybe working with Bradford would be a nice change of pace for one day.

eoeoeoeo

Much to his surprise, Elliot actually had a productive and relatively stress free day working with Bradford, and if he was being totally honest, he actually kind of liked the guy. Except for the fact that he had his partner, of course.

Elliot had been making his way down the precinct steps, the cool night air sweeping over his skin, when he saw her. She was dressed in a pencil skirt, blazer, and the highest shiny black heels he'd ever seen. She hadn't yet noticed him and he took the time to memorize her this way.

The wind rustled her dark hair as she approached the first step and he recalled how it had felt against his skin as she'd kissed him. Her lips were glossy and full, just as they were _that_ night and all he wanted to do was taste them again. He stilled on the concrete step as she came closer, her scent surrounding him like an embrace.

He reached out and touched her elbow, causing her to startle. "Sorry." He looked down at his feet, avoiding eye contact before raking his gaze slowly up the length of her body. "Olivia –"

He felt her tremble slightly under his touch. "Elliot, um –"

"What are you doing tomorrow night?" The abrupt question came out in a jumbled heap of words quickly strung together. He shocked even himself.

He watched as her quickened breaths formed small puffs of smoky air that faded out into the evening. She shifted out of his grasp and looked him in the eye briefly, before turning away. "I'm not doing this, Elliot. I have dinner plans tomorrow anyway."

"We can't leave things like we did, Liv. You have to talk to me..."

"Oh, I do?" she asked, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Sort of like how you had the decency to talk to _me_ like a human being you cared for instead of leaving a note like I was some slut you wanted to ditch in the morning?" Her chest heaved and her eyes grew damp.

"Try to understand why I did it, Olivia. You told me you wanted to move forward and prove you didn't need me. I knew we had too much to drink, I-"

"Elliot, let's not do this here," she interrupted, glancing around them. Whenever they were together, it was as though nobody else existed. "I have plans with Jim tomorrow night. I'm moving on. We made a mistake, obviously...just let me go."

Elliot tried not to look as wounded as he felt. His hands balled into fists at his sides, both from the anger he felt that she was choosing to see Jim over talking things out with him, and from restraining himself from touching her. "I can't let you go…I tried." He swallowed the lump clogging his throat.

Olivia swiped at the moisture on her cheek with the back of her hand, determined not to cry any more than she already was. "Well try harder, El…okay?" She choked out the question, the words paining her to say.

Elliot reached up to brush the hair from her face, needing the contact. He closed his eyes when she backed away. He paused for a long moment before responding. "You don't mean that."

She gave him a sad smile that never reached her eyes, "I _have_ to mean it Elliot…take care."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thanks to my beta Cori, and to all those who have reviewed! A little nervous about this one, but I hope you enjoy! :)**

"Damn it, Dickie! Stop cheating!" Elliot chuckled as he lightly elbowed his son in the ribs.

"It's called kicking your ass, not cheating, old man! And stop calling me Dickie for the ten thousandth time!" He swiftly hip checked Elliot and took a shot, the basketball gliding easily through the hoop. "And that's how it's done." Rich did a little victory dance as Elliot glared at him.

The two then headed toward a bench adjacent to the basketball court to grab their towels and water bottles. Elliot wiped his brow as Rich took a long swig from his drink. "When did you get so good?" Elliot gasped, still catching his breath.

"Wow dad, when did you get so _bad? _Rich's smirk matched his father's as he plopped down onto the bench. He watched as Elliot shook his head and smiled, but noticed that his usual playful banter was missing. Rich also knew that talking about feelings wasn't his dad's strong point, but deciding to throw caution to the wind, he regarded Elliot with a serious expression. "Dad, what's up with you today? Something going on at work?"

Elliot raised an eyebrow at his son, realizing for the first time how perceptive he could be. Either that or the misery he had been feeling was written all over his face. He rolled his eyes and sat beside Rich on the bench. "There's always something going on at work, but I'm okay. Sorry I've been a bit distracted." He reached out to ruffle Rich's thick head of hair.

"Dude, knock it off!" Rich laughed and ducked out of Elliot's grasp. "There are hot girls around."

"Sorry, _dude_," Elliot mimicked, shaking his head.

He took a deep breath and leaned back against the bench, his gaze focused out over the horizon where the glimmering water surface of the Hudson met the gravely pavement of the park's edges.

His thoughts drifted to his children and all of the joy they brought to his life. He always knew that whenever he was having a particularly bad day, he could call one or all of them and his own issues would melt away. Listening to Lizzie complain about school, Dickie's latest crush, even Eli's toddler babble on the phone brought an instant smile to his face.

Olivia had had plans with Jim the previous night and after restlessly tossing and turning in his bed, his mind racing, Elliot had decided how he'd wanted to spend his Saturday morning off; spending time with his eldest son and blowing off some steam. But as much as he'd been enjoying his time with Dickie, all Elliot could truly think of, was how Jim and Olivia's date may have ended. If she'd given herself to Jim the same way she did him.

The sex between them had been intense and incredible, not just because of the strong physical attraction, but the emotion that had surged throughout his body. He loved Olivia and he knew deep down she felt the same. He'd fucked up though and now he was suffering the consequences.

He couldn't get her out of his head and he didn't want to. Elliot knew he had to give Olivia some space, but he refused to give up. There was no way he'd allow their thirteen year relationship to end this way. He would have to gently ease back into her life and as difficult as it was for Elliot to do almost anything slowly, he'd have to try.

A cool breeze brushed over his body, causing goose bumps to form on his damp skin. He shivered slightly and snapped out of his thoughts. "Come on, kid. Let's go grab some lunch."

**{EO}**

Olivia stretched languidly as she glanced over at the wall clock next to the bed. Jim's bed.

Shit.

She'd had every intention of simply enjoying his company over a cordial dinner, but one thing had led to another and all she'd wanted to do was think of anybody but Elliot.

Unfortunately her little tryst made her think of him even more. With every tender touch and kiss Jim graced her with, she thought of Elliot's passion and raw desire. With every romantic word that passed Jim's lips, she thought of Elliot's groans and intense stare. Intellectually, she knew that how Jim treated her should be what she wanted, but her gut and heart told her that Elliot was what she needed.

Olivia couldn't help herself. As hard as she tried to deny it, she was head over heels, obnoxiously in love with Elliot Stabler…and it pissed her the fuck off.

Her stomach turned as she sighed loudly and stared up the ceiling. She realized she had to get out of there, but she couldn't just leave Jim so abruptly again. Forcing herself to stay put, she flinched as she felt his arm snake over her bare stomach, skimming up her side. She forced down the need to run to the bathroom and be sick, her anxiety and uncertainty about what she was doing with Jim plaguing her. Even though she had every right to try to make a new life for herself, she still felt as though she were somehow doing something wrong to Elliot.

Jim yawned and gave her a sleepy smile. "Morning, babe." He pressed a wet, open mouthed kiss onto her shoulder causing a chill to run down her spine.

Olivia relaxed at the sound of his voice and moaned softly, turning to meet his lips as he rolled on top of her, his erection nudging at her entrance. He really was a great guy and she chastised herself for only wanting the one person that could destroy her emotionally when she had Jim. She closed her eyes tightly and let her body give in to sensation.

**{EO}**

A little over two weeks later, Elliot decided Olivia had had enough space. Or maybe it was more that _he_ had had enough space. The sense of loss he still felt had been as strong as it was the day she turned him away on the steps of her precinct in Brooklyn. He knew she was hurt and that he deserved whatever she gave him, but a part of him was surprised that she hadn't called him to meet up at some point. In his anger and arrogance, he'd believed that she'd always come back.

He was wrong this time. She didn't need him.

He was the one that needed her.

Still, Elliot felt confident as he entered the Brooklyn SVU squad room...until he saw her. He had hoped to convince her to join him for a simple lunch…just as friends. Right. Now, he felt his palms grow damp and breathing quicken.

"Elliot," Olivia stated plainly, not even looking up from her computer, sensing his presence before stopping her work to make eye contact. She stood from her chair and walked over to him, shifting nervously on her feet. "What are you doing here? David and I closed that ca-"

He silenced her by running his hand down the length of her arm and flashing her a mischievous, yet unsure grin. "Taking you to lunch. I need to explain some things and you need to eat, so…there's a deli on the corner and you are coming with me."

She graced him with a brilliant smile while shaking her head in disbelief, and his breath caught in his chest in shock that this approach seemed to be working. Oh yeah, she was starting to cave.

"You really don't know the meaning of giving up do you?" She ran a nervous hand through her hair releasing a pleasant aroma that filled Elliot's nostrils.

"Does that mean you'll come?" _Shit_. "I mean, um…"

They both looked at one another with wide eyes before she smirked so slightly that it was barely noticeable. But he noticed. He always did.

Elliot groaned with embarrassment. "Come on Liv, give me a break, will ya?"

He watched as her smirk grew into a smile and a flush took over her cheeks as she was about to respond.

"Ready to go, babe?" Jim headed over to Olivia from the direction of the men's room.

Son of a bitch.

"You've _got_ to be kidding me," Elliot muttered lowly under his breath, blood racing through his veins.

Olivia shot him a look before turning to Jim, who slipped his hand into hers.

Elliot's jaw clenched a few times as he tried to restrain himself from grabbing Jim by the collar and throwing him out the nearest window. This man had had his hands all over Olivia, his lips, his tongue. Elliot almost gagged at the thought.

"Um, Elliot, Jim and I already have lunch plans, I-"

He could feel the beat of his heart pounding in his ears. "Cancel them," he practically growled, staring into Olivia's glazed over eyes.

"_Elliot_," she said incredulously. Her chest raised and fell with each deep breath. She could feel the heat radiating off Elliot's body. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Hey, Stabler, why don't you back off like she asked you-"

"Why don't I what?" Elliot crowded into Jim's space, staring down his nose at the slightly shorter man.

Who the hell did this Jim guy think he was anyway? He'd been a part of Olivia's life for a few months. Elliot was the one who had always been there. The one that would always stay.

He took a step closer, practically chest to chest with Jim, his stance meant to intimidate, until he felt a firm hand on his shoulder.

"Stop this…_now_," Olivia said in a loud whisper, trying not to draw unwanted attention from the other cops in the squad room.

"Elliot, go home…I- I'll call you later, okay? We'll talk…just not here."

Jim snorted. "You're actually gonna call this nut job?"

Elliot smiled mockingly at Jim and watched as Olivia pulled the other man away and out of the precinct, leaving him aggravated, but not without hope.

**{EO}**

Later that night, Olivia sat alone in her dark apartment, only the electric glow of the television illuminating the small living room. She had so much on her mind and had been feeling sick to her stomach on and off for the remainder of the day after seeing Elliot. In fact, she hadn't been feeling well in general for weeks now. She tightened the warm, beige fleece blanket around her shoulders and sunk back into the couch cushions.

Alone seemed to be how she always ended up. Jim wanted her. Elliot wanted her. But in the end, her confusion and fears led to indecision. Soon though, things would be decided for her.

Glancing at the digital clock on her cable box, she knew it was time. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut as a tear slipped down her cheek. A wave of nausea hit her as she stood to make her way across the room to find what awaited her. Her future. Her fate. Her life.

Everything could change.

She steadied herself on the door jamb and took a deep breath, chancing a peek into the bathroom.

There it was. All she had to do was pick it up and stop being such a fucking coward.

Her heart hammered against her ribcage as she unsteadily walked into the small bathroom, picking up the plastic stick. She swallowed harshly and clutched onto the edge of the cold vanity as she looked down and squinted in disbelief.

A faded, pink plus sign.

"Pregnant." The word left her lips in a rush of air as she lowered herself onto the tile floor.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Thanks again to all who have reviewed! I'm excited about this chap…hope you like it ;)**

There was much too little air in the small room.

Olivia attempted to regulate her breathing and slow her heart rate as she waited for her gynecologist to return with her test results. She tried to distract herself by reading the old, worn Good Housekeeping magazine from seven months ago as she sat in the stiff leather chair across from Dr. Vargas's desk.

With shaking hands, she flipped through the tattered pages, stopping at an article on new motherhood. Her stomach twisted and her heart fluttered. She had been experiencing the conflicting emotions of terror and excitement ever since that little plus sign taunted her the previous evening. Her knee bounced rapidly as she began to read aloud, "What to expect when your new blessing arrives."

She snorted.

She expected her entire life to be turned upside down. Her career, her home, her entire world would have to change. It might be a welcome change, but nonetheless she wasn't the only person this would be affecting.

And then there was Jim. She was about to have a child with a man she'd only known for a few months. Olivia had been cursing herself for the one or two slip ups they'd had in the heat of the moment, forgoing a condom not to ruin the fun.

Fun was not what she now had in mind when thinking about telling him what their little lapses in judgment cost him. Cost them.

Fuck.

She had no clue if Jim even wanted children. If he even knew how to _act_ around children.

Olivia sighed and tossed the magazine back on the desk. She was going to have a child, something she'd wanted for years, with a man she was not in love with.

Her thoughts then turned to Elliot. This would kill him.

Resting her head against the back of her chair, she thought about how much Elliot loved his children. How much he'd love hers. Theirs. Her thoughts then drifted to future that involved raising a child with him; growing old together and watching that child flourish. A child with her hair and his eyes. Her stubbornness and his temper. Her compassion and his determination. Both of their toughness and strength.

Olivia smiled.

Then she thought about Jim. What would _their_ child be like? She honestly didn't know him well enough to imagine.

Her throat choked up with restrained emotion as Dr. Vargas entered the room holding a clipboard. Olivia straightened her posture in the chair and ran a hand nervously through her hair as she eyed the other woman questioningly.

Dr. Vargas sat down and cleared her throat. "Okay, Olivia, I have your blood test results here and it seems that the pregnancy test you took last night gave you a false positive. It doesn't happen often, but it's not completely abnormal. I ran your blood work twice to be sure, and both times it came out negative…you're not pregnant after all."

Olivia closed her eyes and released a long, steady breath she had been holding since the doctor entered the room. Her voice cracked as she began to speak. "Not pregnant," she repeated.

Suddenly, she felt her heart sink and hot tears slide down her face, surprising both her and her doctor, who knew Olivia was unmarried and anxious about a pregnancy at her age.

Olivia actually felt disappointed. The entire debacle made her realize that she still truly wanted to have a baby…just not with Jim.

She had to stop fooling herself. Yes, Elliot had been an ass, and it was a given he'd be an ass again; but ass or no, nobody had ever made her feel the way he did. He was her everything and her life hadn't been the same the months she'd spent without him.

It couldn't be clearer what she needed to do now. She had to call Jim.

She had to call Elliot.

**{EO}**

Elliot had been pacing around his living room ever since he'd received her text. The one she sent fifteen minutes prior that said: _I need to talk to u. Calling in a few minutes._

Did she have any idea what she was doing to him? Any clue the effect she had on his emotions? Apparently she didn't or she would never have sent him that message. His mind raced with possibilities. Did she finally decide she wanted to meet up with him? Or did she want to curse him out for getting in Jim's face yesterday?

Fucking Jim.

Elliot checked his Blackberry for about the tenth time in the past five minutes and there was nothing. Groaning, he finally stopped pacing and sunk down into his couch cushions, placing the phone on the wooden coffee table.

"Damn it, Stabler, stop acting like such a girl." He reprimanded himself mentally just as the phone rang.

His heart jumped as he snatched it off the table, practically dropping it in his haste. "Olivia," he breathed.

"Elliot…are you home?" She sounded as though she'd been crying and his stomach dropped.

"Where are you, Liv? I'll come get you. I-"

"No, no, I'm heading over to your apartment. I just left Jim's about twenty minutes ago. Elliot, I really need to see you right now."

Elliot's brow furrowed in confusion. She was leaving Jim's, yet she sounded miserable and suddenly needed to see him? This couldn't be good.

"What did he do to you, Olivia. I swear to God-"

"Nothing, El. Calm down, I'm almost at your building. Give me two minutes…bye."

What. The. Fuck.

Calm down? Was she serious? He went into his kitchenette and pulled two cold beers from the refrigerator, opening both and then walking back into the living room to set them on the coffee table, condensation from the bottles causing wet rings to form atop the dark wood.

Elliot practically jumped out of his skin at the sound of the buzzer moments later. Pushing the button, he wondered exactly what he was inviting into his apartment.

He took a deep breath.

A few short minutes later, there was a soft knock at his door. He turned the knob and swung the door open, seeing her standing before him looking somewhat disheveled but beautiful as always.

"Elliot." She practically moaned his name, sinking into him as his arms enveloped her body.

"Liv, please tell me what happened," he muttered, his lips rustling the hair at the crown of her head. He breathed her in and ran a hand through her hair, then stepped back so he could look at her face.

Olivia attempted to compose herself and walked over to Elliot's coffee table, picking up an open beer bottle and taking a long sip. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and sat down on the couch. She glanced up at Elliot, before taking another sip of the amber liquid, relishing the cool burn as it slid down her throat. "I figured something out, El." She motioned for him to sit beside her.

Elliot narrowed his eyes and grabbed the other bottle before settling in beside her. "Figured what out?" He watched her, noticing something different in her demeanor. Something more vulnerable than she normally allowed herself to be. He took a gamble and rested his hand on her shoulder; feeling pleased when she didn't flinch or pull away. "I'm here for you, Liv. No matter what you tell me, you know I've got your back right?"

Olivia nodded, her dark hair falling over her right eye, as she placed her free hand over where his rested on her shoulder. "I know, El, and I love that about you…"

Elliot's grip on her shoulder tightened with her words as he watched her eyes widen in disbelief of what she'd just said.

Olivia cleared her throat and continued. "I took a pregnancy test last night-"

Fuck. Fuck. _Fuck_.

He abruptly tried to remove his hand from hers, but she was too quick. Olivia captured his hand and squeezed gently.

"Long story short, I'm not pregnant, but the scare was enough, Elliot. I know what I want now." She looked down at their joined hands on her lap. "It's not Jim." She peered up at him shyly. "It's you…it was always you. Do you see what I'm trying to-"

Her words were silenced by his lips crashing against hers.

Much to his delight, Olivia responded with enthusiasm and tenderness, parting her lips so that he could slip his tongue inside, massaging it against hers.

Olivia gripped the back of his neck, pulling him in closer and causing a loud moan to release from deep within his throat. She felt his tongue continue to explore her mouth and was faintly aware of him running a hand down the side of her neck just before she pulled away for air.

"El," she gasped, as she peered into his eyes. "You have to understand how much you've hurt me. What you did…I- I can't just jump in to this. I still don't know how to forgive you completely…"

"Liv." He cupped her head in his large hands, rubbing his thumbs over the apples of her cheeks. "I've never regretted anything more. I'll prove it to you…you will trust me again and we'll go slowly. I promise you, Olivia. Let's give this a real chance."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! They seriously make me ridiculously excited! LOL Okay, this chap is building up to something big, I think…hope you enjoy!**

"Go slowly," she mumbled against his lips. "A real chance," Olivia echoed Elliot's words as she leaned over to put her beer back onto his coffee table. She waited as he did the same, never losing eye contact.

Elliot laced then his fingers together at the base of her skull, raking them into her silky, chestnut hair. He smiled before pressing his lips to hers once again; opening his mouth to breathe in her air, feel the wet warmth of her tongue. He released a wordless sound of contentment from the back of his throat as he reveled in the moment. A moment he never imagined happening so soon, if at all.

"Slowly," he repeated as he trailed one hand slowly down her cheek, over her collarbone, to rest on her full breast.

"Mmm," Olivia hummed into his mouth as Elliot massaged her gently and ran his thumb back and forth over her hardened nipple. She pushed him back lightly against the arm of the couch and leaned over him, dragging her hand down his torso to grasp his hip roughly, trying to urge him to press against her, craving the feel of his erection against her thigh. She wrenched her mouth from his when he groaned against her lips. "Yeah, we shouldn't do this yet…"

Elliot grabbed her hips and ground up into her, eliciting a sexy whimper that went straight to his dick. "Okay, so we'll stop," he panted into her ear.

Chills of desire ran down her spine as his hot breath tickled her ear. "I'm gonna get going," Olivia sighed as she yanked Elliot's faded green t-shirt from his body, tossing it over the back of the couch as she drank in the muscled form beneath her.

"I'll walk you out," he whispered, leaning up to capture her bottom lip lightly between his teeth. Their lips then began to battle as he slid his hands between their bodies to the button of her jeans, adeptly popping it open.

Olivia placed her hands on his bare chest and pushed him down into the couch, halting his actions. "Oh God, El, we really have to stop now." Her breaths were labored as she quickly climbed off of him and fastened her pants.

She ached to touch him again as she watched him lying on the couch with an arm thrown over his eyes, his chest heaving as he attempted to calm himself down. His loose sweatpants were slung low on his hips and all she wanted to do was climb right back on and finish what they'd started.

But it was too soon…wasn't it? She had only just broken up with Jim and she still had stuff to work through with Elliot. Fuck, she wished her mind had an off button sometimes. She ripped her gaze from the blatant perusal of the length of his body and swallowed harshly, her throat suddenly extremely dry.

Elliot lifted his arm from his eyes slightly to peek at Olivia briefly from under his elbow before burying his face back under, a groan falling from his lips. "You're killing me here, Liv…you just don't know…"

"Oh, I know, El…trust me, you do the same for me. It's just that you're too, um – distracting to talk to seriously right now and we really should talk more before we…you know?"

Elliot blew out a breath of frustration as he pushed himself off the couch to wrap his arms low on Olivia's waist. "I agree – I do. Just…call me tomorrow, okay? We'll meet for coffee or something?" He pulled her in tighter and leaned his cheek against her temple, swaying slightly with her in his arms.

She closed her eyes and smiled, running her fingertips slowly up and down his naked back, losing herself in his warmth.

It was so right. This is where she belonged.

"Okay." After a long moment of just breathing together, she pulled back to plant a soft kiss to his lips.

Elliot returned the kiss before pulling back and swatting her on the ass playfully. "Now get out of here before I tackle you," he laughed.

"Always a romantic," she grinned before giving him one last look and biting her lip. "See you tomorrow, El…sweet dreams."

He snorted and smiled back. "No worries there."

**{EO}**

Elliot entered the one six the following morning feeling lighter than he had in a while. Although they still had a long way to go to repair the emotional damage they'd done to one another, he felt that he and Olivia were finally headed in the right direction. They'd made plans to get coffee after work and he was looking forward to being able to explore their relationship as a new couple.

Were they a couple? Probably not just yet, but he knew it would get there. He was definitely in love for the second time in his life and he was almost positive she was too. And for the first time in all their years of knowing one another, there were absolutely no barriers.

The thought made him almost giddy. Well, as giddy as Elliot Stabler could be.

Placing a Styrofoam cup on his partner's desk, Elliot then settled into his chair and shrugged out of his suit jacket. "Morning."

"Okay, spill," Munch lifted the plastic cover from the cup and took a slow slip as he eyed Elliot curiously.

"What?" Elliot furrowed his brows as he took a sip from his own cup.

"Well let's see, shall we? For the last few months, you've pretty much done nothing but sulk, hit people and or things, and act like a general son of a bitch. Just now you walked in with what resembled a smile on your face and brought me coffee for the first time in at least a month. So, I say to you again…spill."

Rolling his eyes, Elliot debated whether or not to tell Munch what was going on. He really didn't have any close male friends that would understand how huge what happened with Olivia the previous night was.

He cleared his throat and smirked. "Ah, what the hell…might as well tell you. It's about Olivia…she's finally talking to me again. We-"

"I _knew_ it! Knew it had to do with Liv," Munch proclaimed proudly. "So what, you two an item now?"

Elliot sighed and shook his head in amusement. "Never mind, John. I just realized you are the last person I should be talking to about this. What are you working on wife number six now?"

"That actually kind of hurts a little," Munch placed a hand over his heart, pretending to feel wounded by Elliot's words.

"John-"

"I'm just joking with you, man. I hope you and Benson are really happy together and may I add it's about damn time."

Elliot smiled to himself, it felt good to finally not have to hide his feelings about Olivia.

**{EO}**

"God, I thought this day would never end." Olivia yawned into her steaming mug before taking a slow sip. It had felt so good to be there with Elliot, it was almost as though the last few months never happened. Almost.

"Tell me about it." Elliot bumped her foot under the table and rolled his shoulders back a few times to release the tension of the day. "You know what might make you feel better though?" He asked seductively as he ran his foot up the length of her calf.

Olivia rolled her eyes at him, but leaned forward and smiled despite herself. "Come here." She quirked her index finger in a teasing come hither motion.

Elliot leaned forward to meet her lips in a soft, open mouthed kiss, both forgetting momentarily they were in public.

Olivia eventually pulled back and took a sip from her mug, winking at him over the rim.

"Well that certainly made _me_ feel better," he laughed before they fell into a companionable silence.

Even though he knew this was just supposed to be a quick coffee date to catch up and talk about their days, Elliot couldn't help the thoughts that he'd been forcing in the back of his mind since the previous day. He poked at his slice of cheesecake with his fork as he prepared to ask her a question he wasn't quite sure he wanted the answer to. "So…what really happened with Jim, Liv?" He looked up from his dessert to meet her eyes.

She glanced away for a moment as she shifted in her chair. "I told him pretty much everything…about the pregnancy scare and how it forced me to deal with my feelings for you." Olivia's eyes darted around the intimate coffee shop, not used to being so open with Elliot, but knowing she needed to start her and Elliot's relationship on the right foot.

Elliot raised an eyebrow at her and bumped her foot again. "And what feelings are those?" He would never tire of hearing how Olivia chose him.

"Elliot," Olivia warned. "I really did care about him, you know." She stared down at her coffee.

Elliot sat back in his chair, pulling his foot away from hers and crossing his arms over his chest.

Olivia sighed at his body language. "So, I apologized to him if I lead him on and he asked me, not so politely, to leave his apartment and never call him again. Not that I could blame him."

Elliot stiffened further in his chair. "What do you mean, not so politely? What did he-"

She reached over and placed her hand on his tensed forearm, squeezing lightly. "It's fine, El. Anyway, I texted you right after I left his place." Olivia released his arm to run both hands through her hair in frustration. David barely said two words to me today, besides anything that was work related. I guess I don't blame him either…I dumped one of his closest friends."

Elliot relaxed his posture and leaned forward to take Olivia's hand in his. "They'll both get over it eventually, Liv. I mean, I sure as hell wouldn't want to be in Jim's place, but I'm not going to lie; I'm thrilled with how this all ended up." He winked at her as the smile crept onto her face. "Seriously though, I know you feel bad and you're in an awkward situation at work now, but all I can say is that it's going to be worth it. I'll make sure of it."

She rubbed her thumb over the top of his hand and smiled brightly. "It already is."

**eoeoeo**

Olivia rested her head against the faux leather backseat of a cab as it maneuvered through traffic heading back to her apartment. She thought about the past two days and a future that included Elliot in her day to day life again. She knew that with their personalities they were in for a bumpy road ahead, but she was finally willing to give things a real try. She'd proved to herself that she didn't _need _Elliot Stabler, but she most definitely _wanted_ him.

It scared the shit out of her sometimes, how much she wanted him. Starting a relationship with him would be a huge risk to their underlying long term friendship and now that she'd lost it once, she knew she couldn't stand to lose it again. There was also the matter of how he'd slept with her and left her alone the following morning. She couldn't forget that and it was what was preventing her from forging confidently ahead. Would he do that again? Would he change his mind? She wanted so much with him, but he was probably the only person in her life she allowed in enough to break her. Yes, he seemed happy and excited about them starting something _now_, but would it last?

Olivia sighed and tried to clear her head of all of her fears and questions. She loved Elliot and she was pretty sure he loved her as well. She wanted to spend the rest of her life by his side. It was where she belonged.

She just hoped that he was going to be open to the life changing proposition she planned to offer him once they were on more solid ground.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thanks again to all who reviewed! This story is far from over and I hope you enjoy all I have in store! Don't forget to let me know what you think so far :)**

The words on the computer screen before her all began to blur together as Olivia entered the second hour of working on paperwork at her desk. She yawned and rubbed her tired eyes before glancing at her watch. Nine o'clock. She sighed and rolled her head on her shoulders to release some of the tension from the long and stressful day that she and David had had. He'd left ten minutes prior, leaving Olivia alone with her thoughts.

It had been over a week since she and Elliot had agreed to try a relationship and she still could not get the fears out of her head. She needed to talk to him again about how he could have just left her alone in his bed, with only a note as his explanation. He'd told her plenty of times that he'd thought it was what she wanted. Thought she wanted to move on and he was trying to let her, but there was something more that was bothering her.

Abandonment.

Her mother had taught her never to trust completely, especially men. Growing up with all of Serena's lies and neglect, Olivia always felt she was damaged. It had taken her years after her mother's death to learn that she was actually worth something. That she was a strong woman of value. She had always overcompensated by building a protective wall around her heart and taking on a "tough guy" persona at work.

In reality, Olivia longed to be loved. To belong.

Elliot had been one of the key people in her life that helped repair the damage her mother left behind. He had been her strength when she felt weak, her truth amongst all of the bullshit of the world.

But what do you do when the person that is your rock and your comfort is the one abandoning you? The one making you question?

Deep down, she knew Elliot wasn't trying to intentionally hurt her and that he was doing what he thought she needed. He always did. He always had her best interest in mind. He was the one who helped heal her wounds, both physically and emotionally.

She just needed to trust him fully again. She knew she could…she just needed time. She wanted so much with him.

Her Blackberry vibrated loudly against her desk, startling her from her melancholy thoughts.

_I know you've had a rough day, so I'm at your apartment with a small surprise. Come home, Liv._

Come home. Her body shivered as she logged off her computer.

**{EO}**

Olivia stepped into her apartment at ten o'clock and was immediately assaulted with the aromas of vanilla and coconut. She smiled to herself as she slipped out of her jacket and headed toward her bedroom where there was a sliver of subtle light coming from the slightly opened door.

"El, what are you doing?" She chuckled as she opened the door fully to see Elliot sitting on her bed, holding out a glass of red wine, the shadows and planes of his chiseled face flickering in the candle light that bathed the otherwise dark room.

Her smile widened as she absorbed her surroundings and took the glass from Elliot's outstretched hands. She toed off her shoes and moved to straddle him, the inside of her thighs, rubbing against the outside of his. She sighed softly as she felt his strong hands slide under her top to then graze his fingertips up and down the length of her spine.

"Hi, baby, ready for your surprise?" His rumbling voice dripped sex.

She breathed in a shuddery breath and placed her mouth against his, cupping the back of his head with her free hand. They moaned softly together before she pulled away, her right eyebrow quirked. "You mean this isn't it?"

Elliot smirked, taking the glass from her hand and reaching back to place the wine on her bedside table. He then grabbed a bottle of massage oil, waving it teasingly in front of her face. "Tonight-" he kissed her again, slipping his tongue between her welcoming lips before pulling back. "-Is all about you."

Olivia quivered and rolled her hips against the forming erection in his lap, stopping when he put down the lotion to grasp her hips firmly. Elliot leaned in to press open mouthed kisses trailing from the spot right under her ear to her collarbone. He moved his hands to toy with the hem of her blouse, before pulling it off of her and tossing it aside.

"Mmm, El," she sighed as she felt his fingers graze over her stomach, sides, and over her clothed nipples, wrapping around her to unhook her black lace bra. He slid the straps down her arms and threw the garment over her shoulder as she smiled at him seductively.

Elliot's breaths quickened as he took in her body, her perfect breasts and glowing skin for the first time sober and unrushed. He then stared into her eyes as he reverently traced a finger around her peaked nipples before dipping his head to take a taste.

"Ohhh," Olivia breathed as his wet, warm tongue slid around her nipples. She arched into his mouth further, causing his groan to vibrate against her chest. She felt herself grow even wetter than she already was as he pressed his fingers between them and against the front seam of her dress pants. She stood to quickly remove them and her socks as Elliot rid himself of his own shirt and jeans.

They stood, chests heaving, only clothed in their underwear, taking the other in with new eyes.

Elliot reached out to tug on her hand to lead her to the bed. "Lay down, beautiful."

Who was she to refuse him?

Olivia lay on her stomach as Elliot hovered beside her, squeezing some lotion into his hands and rubbing them together to warm the creamy substance. She moaned lowly at the dual sensations of the cool lotion and his warm hands as they ran over her calves, digging gently into her muscles.

Elliot worked his way up and down her body, concentrating primarily on the tender, sore muscles of her back and shoulders. Her senses were on fire as her body relaxed further with each of his touches. She'd never felt so calm, yet so incredibly turned on at the same time. She barely even noticed the cool air caressing the heat between her legs as Elliot slowly lowered her panties down her long legs.

He kissed his way back up her body as she squirmed in pleasure beneath him, almost whimpering as she felt his soft lips and hot breath against her ear from behind her.

"Does this feel good?"

She sighed loudly in answer.

"All I ever want is to make you feel as good as you make me feel."

Olivia's heart began to race as she nodded into the plush mattress. She moaned as she felt his tongue run over the shell of her ear and time stopped with his next whispered words.

"I'm so in love with you, Liv…you have to know you can always trust me."

She felt the moisture gather in her eyes as she flipped over to face Elliot. She searched his intense gaze and saw only devotion and truth. She swallowed the lump in her throat as he kissed away the tear that began to escape from the corner of her right eye. "I do trust you…and I do too. Love you, I mean." She stammered out her words awkwardly. "I'm in love with you too, Elliot."

It was then all heat, passion and love.

Elliot's boxer briefs were gone within moments and he nestled between her legs, pushing inside of her and rocking into her with slow, strong thrusts.

Elliot thought of thirteen years, communication without words, and suppressed emotions as he continued to collide with her body. His pace slowed further as he held her face in his hands, leaning in to kiss her and express all he couldn't say.

He then felt her tongue slide against his as she raked her short nails down his back to squeeze his ass, nudging them over so that he lay on his back. He knew she needed control tonight. To feel less vulnerable since their words had stripped her bare.

Elliot watched her in awe, grunting as she worked over him, rode him slowly, swiveling her hips and squeezing him tightly inside of her. "You feel fucking amazing, Olivia." He could barely breathe with her dark eyes trained intently on his own. Never breaking her stare, he moistened his thumb with his tongue and watched her hooded eyes widen slightly as he pressed it to her clit causing her to buck harder into him.

"Oh, God!" Olivia cried out as her movements faltered. Elliot reached out with his free hand to pull her in by the nape of her neck, capturing her lips with his repeatedly and relentlessly as he began to thrust harshly up into her.

Her muffled scream caused him to break within her. "Liv, oh _fuck_!"

He then released a drawn out groan as his ragged thrusting, along with the pressure he was applying to her clit, caused Olivia to follow shortly behind him.

Wave after wave of intense pleasure coursed through her body as she rode out her climax. She leaned forward further to sink her teeth lightly into his shoulder as she felt his fingers dig roughly into the flesh of her hips.

They shook together, gripping on to one another in a vice hold from the intensity of the experience.

Olivia had had plenty of sex, she'd even made love, but what had just transpired between her and Elliot was on a completely different level.

Gasping for air, they continued to cling to each other, Olivia stretching out on top of Elliot's slick body. He caressed her hair and kissed the top of her head as she nuzzled into the spot between his shoulder and neck.

Nothing more needed to be said she thought. They both knew for sure now how the other felt and that was all they wanted.

Well, almost all. Olivia felt her confidence in their relationship growing and knew that in time she would be able to ask him to give her the one thing she wanted almost as much as him. She sighed into Elliot's neck as she felt the contentment wash over her body.

"Liv?"

"Hmm?"

"You do trust me, right? You know that what happened when I left was-"

"I know…I know that _now_, El. I just need to know you won't just change your mind in the morning again…"

Elliot's heart broke. How could he show her that he would never leave? That he'd never wanted to leave in the first place. That anything he did was just him misconstruing what he thought she'd needed at the time.

"I'm so sorry, Olivia." He leaned back to meet her eyes as she loomed over him. "I don't know how else to say it except that I know I fucked up. It's not an excuse, but I really thought it was what you wanted in the moment...to move on from me. I mean, you and Jim…you know?"

Olivia pressed a quick kiss to his lips and breathed in his masculine, seductive scent. "It hurt like hell, I'm not going to lie, but I think I'm starting to understand what you were thinking at the time now."

Elliot rolled them gently so that he was on top of her, his hand sliding down her body, followed by his mouth. "Yeah," he whispered as he sunk two fingers inside of her. His heart fluttered as she moaned softly and clutched his head in both of her hands. He looked up at her smiling from below her navel. "I love you."

He lost himself in her as she arched into him, all of their past pain slowly melting away.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: You guys and your reviews rock my world! LOL Definitely let me know your thoughts after this chap! Thanks so much for reading :)**

Olivia watched as he stepped out of the shower, steam filling the small room as he pulled back the plastic curtain. She'd been just about to pull on her black dress pants but placed them on his bed instead and walked toward his dripping body. She could tell that he wasn't aware she'd been watching him as he wrapped a white towel around his waist and turned in the direction of the bedroom. Olivia stood clad in only her bra and panties close by the doorway as she bit her lip and made no secret of ogling his body.

It had been over a month since she and Elliot started their relationship and she still pinched herself every day to make sure it wasn't all some crazy dream or sick joke. They were definitely still getting used to being with each other in this new way and had plenty of moments where they wanted to kill one another, but she couldn't be happier.

She also couldn't keep her hands off of him, but he didn't seem to mind one bit; and this was definitely one of those moments where she didn't want to try.

Olivia felt the heat from Elliot's gaze lick her body as he gave her a sexy smirk and dropped his towel.

"Get over here," he rumbled, grabbing her hand and pulling her into the bathroom.

She was running her hands roughly over his chest and torso when Elliot turned her around and pinned her against the vanity from behind. Olivia groaned lowly, watching their reflection in the mirror as Elliot removed her bra and cupped her breasts, kneading with purpose, the clean scent of his soap surrounding them.

She leaned back so that the back of her head rested on his shoulder as he continued his heated caresses. "We have to leave for work in less than ten minutes." Her voice was breathless and filled with desire.

"Then we'll be quick."

Olivia moaned and ground her ass against his erection as he placed her hands on the vanity, both pausing briefly to take in the erotic picture they made in the mirror.

"You're gonna make me come before I even slide inside of you," Elliot panted against her ear, as he took a step back to twist the side of her bikini cut panties around his finger and giving a rough yank, ripping them from her body and immediately pushing into her. "_Fuck_, you're so wet."

Olivia's breath hitched as he began to thrust forcefully inside her. They stared at one another in the mirror when he leaned forward to kiss and suck on her neck. "Elliot," she groaned without restraint.

As one of his hands played with her nipple, the other clung tightly to her hip for leverage. She was going to come already. How did he always do this? Olivia bent forward to rest her forearms on the vanity and widened her stance, then circled her hips as she clenched her internal muscles, knowing this would break him.

"Shit! Liv, you have to come _now_." His teeth grazed her neck and his hand slid down to wrap around her waist.

Olivia lowered one hand to flick her index finger over her aching clit as she cried out and allowed herself to succumb to a powerful climax.

Elliot's breaths were now coming in low grunts and she reached her hand further back between both of their legs to cup his balls, tugging gently on the soft, delicate skin.

"Oh my _God_!" Elliot pushed into her two more times and then finally let go, nearly collapsing on top of her.

Olivia chuckled breathlessly as Elliot's lips lightly ran over her shoulders, tickling her sensitized skin.

"Damn, you are evil," he gasped out as he stood to turn her around and wrap his arms around her waist. He flashed her lopsided grin. "Now we are both late for work _and_ I won't be able to concentrate on anything else all day."

Olivia gave him a quick kiss on the lips before pulling away to get dressed. "I didn't hear you complaining a few minutes ago."

"And you never will," he shot back as he scrubbed a hand down his face.

She laughed as she hurriedly pulled on her clothes. "I'm still meeting you at the one six after work today, right? It's going to be weird seeing everyone again. How do you think they are going to react to us being in a relationship?"

Elliot stepped into his boxer briefs and walked over to cup her ass, pulling her close. He kissed her deeply, languidly, the tip of his tongue teasing hers.

"Mmm, what was that for?" Olivia smiled as they finally broke the kiss. She placed her hands on his jaw and pressed her forehead to his.

"Because I can now and because I honestly don't think the guys at the station, or anyone else for that matter, are going to be _that_ surprised about us."

She exhaled sharply and gave him one last peck before pulling back from his grasp. "You're probably right…but it still seems surreal at times that we're now together after all these years."

**{EO}**

Olivia felt a bit anxious as she entered her old squad room at seven thirty that evening. She really had no reason to, but she knew that Munch and Fin had been upset with her when she chose to leave them for another precinct. It had been painful for all involved, but in retrospect it had been one of the best decisions she could have made. There was now no reason she and Elliot couldn't pursue a relationship and she no longer had to repress her feelings. It was actually liberating.

"Hey, look who it is!" Fin smiled as he stood from his desk, drawing the attention of Elliot and Munch.

"Hey guys, how've you been managing without me?" She teased. It felt good to see Munch and Fin again and it hit her like a ton of bricks how much she actually missed them.

"Oh you know, still being worked to the bone, but hanging in there. Elliot on the other hand has been a lost puppy and impossible to deal with." Munch chuckled as his partner glared at him.

"So basically, nothing's changed," Olivia deadpanned as she leaned against her old desk.

"You guys are hilarious," Elliot said dryly as he leaned forward to poke Olivia's side.

Fin furrowed his brow at the interaction. "So, what brings you here, Liv? You miss us that bad that you had to come see us on a Friday night?"

Olivia smirked. "Actually, I'm here to meet up with Elliot so we can get dinner. You two want to come with?"

Fin's eyes darted to Munch who shrugged at him. "Sure, why not. It will be like old times after we'd close a big case. O'Halloran's Pub?"

"Sounds good to me." Olivia smiled as she waited for her old team to pack up for the night.

**{EO}**

"I told you they wouldn't be surprised," Elliot shouted in the direction of Olivia's bathroom as he shed his clothes down to his boxer briefs and slipped under the cool sheets. He buried his face into her pillow, breathing in the scent of her shampoo as he waited for her to join him.

Olivia placed her toothbrush back into the cup and switched off the bathroom light, then made her way into her bedroom. "Fin wasn't too happy that Munch knew something was going on between us and never told him though." She slid into bed beside him and sighed softly as his arms encircled her, their chests pressed together.

She felt his laugh rumble through him before she heard it and the feeling me her smile. "I swear those two are like a crotchety old married couple." His breath was warm against her cheek and she hooked her arm around his broad shoulder to pull him in closer.

"You know people used to say that about us sometimes," Elliot chuckled as he ran his hand through her hair, trailing his hand slowly down her body to rest on her hip.

"Yeah, well, that's not too surprising is it?" Olivia laughed and pressed a quick kiss on his lips. She paused for a moment, debating on whether or not to say her next words. "When you were in the bathroom, Munch told me about how you really were a mess after I left…"

Elliot stiffened for a moment, not wanting to rehash that time. "Munch has a big mouth, but he's probably right." He exhaled and pulled her hips closer to his, reveling in her body heat as he rubbed against her intimately.

Olivia made a soft sound that shot straight down to his groin as he began to lower her panties and kiss her neck.

She tugged his underwear off and threw a leg over his hip, then molded her mouth to his, immediately slipping her tongue inside.

Elliot groaned as he felt her wetness against his erection and teasingly rubbed against her entrance.

Olivia gasped and broke the kiss, suddenly recalling something she'd been meaning to talk with him about. "El?" she breathed.

"What's wrong?" He whispered into her hair and paused the movement of his hips.

"Um, we haven't really been _careful_ every time like we probably should. I mean…I'm not on the pill and after what almost happened not too long ago, I just think, I mean we should make sure we use a condom every single time, don't you think?" She awkwardly stammered out her words, but maintained eye contact, trying to read Elliot's reaction.

She could feel his heart pounding harder against her chest as his hand slipped down in between them, his knuckles brushing her bare stomach.

Her mouth ran dry.

Elliot swallowed and contemplated his words before kissing her softly. He took a deep, shuddering breath and gave her a half smile. "If we got pregnant…would it really be the worst thing that could happen?"


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: You guys have been awesome with the reviews! They have been so encouraging and I appreciate those who take the time to comment so much! :) On to chapter 12…**

Olivia could have cried tears of joy on the spot that night three months ago. She had been waiting until just the right time to ask Elliot if he would want to try to have a child with her and although they hadn't discussed it further or agreed to start actively trying to get pregnant yet, she knew then that it was something he was open to. Elliot wanted to be the father of her baby. That night she'd just laughed it off as though he was half joking…and perhaps he was.

It still felt unreal.

As their romantic relationship continued to develop over the months, she became more and more certain that she should talk to him about trying seriously. She wasn't getting any younger and after thirteen years of close friendship and over four months of dating, she was pretty damn sure it was what she wanted. Even if they ended up splitting in the end, Elliot would still be an amazing father. As for the moment, they loved each other. No, it wasn't the traditional way she imagined doing things; there was no ring on her finger and she was forty three years old, but what more would a child need than two people that would adore him or her and try the best they could to bring them up right?

Unfortunately she and Elliot had been arguing lately. Between their crazy work schedules and Elliot's time with his children, they hadn't had much time to work on anything; whether it be their relationship or getting pregnant and it was taking its toll on them.

That evening, though, he was all hers. She'd made dinner plans for just the two of them at a nice Italian restaurant for Elliot's birthday. His actual birthday was two days from now, but tonight was the only time they were free at the same time for an entire evening. And of course, she was running late, so Elliot would be meeting her at Café Il Bellagio in about ten minutes, twenty minutes later than she'd planned.

Olivia stood sideways in front of her mirror, running a hand down her flat stomach, over the satin of her deep red dress, imagining what she would look like with Elliot's child growing inside her. The child she'd wanted for years now. She smiled at her reflection and bent to strap on her black patent leather peep toe heels with the blood red souls. Happy birthday Elliot, she thought admiring her seductive appearance.

**{EO}**

Elliot had been seated at the restaurant's bar for about five minutes, when he saw her walk into the room. He never tired of seeing how gorgeous and sexy she was when she was dressed up. Not that she didn't look beautiful at all times, but his heart and his groin always swelled knowing that she'd taken the time to look a certain way just for him.

He also loved watching her when she wasn't aware of it. His jaw nearly hit the floor when she removed her jacket and slung it over her forearm, her eyes then meeting his with a mischievous glint before her face broke into a brilliant smile.

She was sex in stilettos.

She sauntered over to him, keeping her gaze on him steady and searing. He licked his lips. "Happy birthday to me," he rumbled, widening his legs on his stool as she fit in between them. He wrapped his arms around her waist and placed a kiss to her neck, breathing in her sensual scent. "You look and smell amazing, Liv."

He then stifled a groan as she ran her hands down the front of his button down shirt to give a light tug at his belt. "We're not skipping dinner, Stabler. I had to make this reservation over a month ago."

He chuckled and ran his hands down to her ass over the satiny material of her dress, and gave a quick squeeze. "Okay, okay…I'm suddenly starving anyway," he said with a wink.

eoeoeo

Half their meals completed and a bottle of wine later, Olivia looked across the table at Elliot wondering how to bring up the subject of them perhaps cutting back working late every night to spend more time together…and possibly start seriously trying to have a baby, but she hadn't wanted to bring it up because the little time they had together, she did not want to taint with such heavy talk.

She cleared her throat and shifted in her chair, not wanting to start a war, but knowing he might be irritated by what she was about to say. "So, I was thinking that maybe it's time we cut back on hours so we can actually start spending more time together…"

Elliot swallowed the piece of steak in his mouth and placed his fork down, narrowing his eyes at her. "Cut back hours? Liv, I'm sorry but you know I can't do that. _You _might have that luxury, but I have kids I'm helping to put through college right now."

Olivia shot him a warning look. "Don't start with me on the 'I don't have kids to support' thing. You know how much that pisses me off."

"You _know_ I didn't mean it like that, it's just that you of all people should understand." Elliot was growing more irritated as past arguments with his ex-wife about the same subject were brought up in his memory.

"You know what, Elliot, forget I even said anything. Forgive me for wanting to spend more time with you since we hardly ever see each other with our crazy hours. Sorry for giving a shit about making this relationship work!" She sat back in her chair and folded her arms under her breasts as she glared at him.

Elliot noticed how the action caused her cleavage to become even more prominent and his heart rate began to race. Her cheeks were flushed with anger and from the wine and her glossy lips were pursed in annoyance. They started to move again, but he didn't hear a word, mesmerized.

"What the hell are you staring at, Elliot?" Olivia leaned forward and watched his eyes drop down to her chest, then back up to her lips. How was she supposed to continue the argument when he was looking at her like that?

She shivered under his gaze.

Elliot reached his hand out across the table to run it down her bare arm, taking pleasure in the goose bumps that formed from his touch. His voice softened. "Look Liv, I don't want to fight with you on my birthday…or ever for that matter, so let's just calm down okay?"

Olivia sighed. "I don't want to fight either, El, but this is important to me…try to understand."

"I _do_ understand. Don't you think I want to be able to spend more time with you too? There's just not much I can do about the hours, okay?"

"Actually, no, it's not okay. I get that you have kids to support and you are a great father, but I refuse to let our relationship suffer the way your last one did. Don't you learn from your mistakes, Elliot?"

He was seething now. "Are you kidding me with this? How could you even…you know what? This is not how I imagined spending my birthday night with you; you're just picking a fight."

Olivia blinked at him and furrowed her brows. "So you are just going to blow this off with no attempt to try to understand how I feel? Don't you want to just resolve this?"

Elliot sighed exaggeratedly in frustration, not wanting what he had planned to ask her to come out during a fight, but he knew it would be the only way he could make her understand that he cared about their relationship and the time they spent together as much as she did. He leaned forward to run his fingertips over the side of her face, ignoring her glare. "You know how I planned to resolve this? It has to do with what I was going to ask you to give me for my birthday." He sat back and took a sip from his wine glass as he watched her raise an eyebrow in question.

"What did you want for your birthday?"

He cleared his throat and took another drink of wine. "Well, I was _going_ to ask you to move in with me, but now you've ruined it." He smirked as Olivia's eyes widened substantially.

"Elliot," she choked out. "I- are you serious?" Her heart felt as though it would explode out of her chest.

"Serious that you've ruined it or serious that I'm asking?" He teased.

She looked at him with exasperation.

He laughed at her expression. "It depends…would you say yes if was asking?"

She narrowed her eyes at him and smirked. "Maybe…"

"Maybe, huh?" He leaned in to brush the hair out of her eye, then cupped her face, running his thumb over her bottom lip. "Well, it's a good thing I didn't actually ask then…"

"El," she breathed as the tip of his thumb dipped into her mouth. She bit down lightly and stared at him with eyes that were clouded with lust and love. She then grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand away. "Stop fucking around and let's get out of here."

**{EO}**

Living together. Olivia groaned as Elliot pressed her into the wall. As soon as they'd entered her apartment, he'd slammed the door behind them and kissed her frantically as if they didn't have the entire night ahead of them. All Olivia could think of as his hands feverishly roamed her heated skin, was that they would be moving in together.

She shoved him off of her, removed their jackets, and led him to sit on the couch, promptly climbing on top of him to straddle his hips. She sighed as his hands slid up her thighs to hike her dress up around her waist.

She kissed him with the same urgency he'd shown moments earlier, tongues sliding over the other, as she unbuttoned his dress shirt. She moaned into his mouth as his strong hands began to knead her ass as she rolled her hips against him.

He pulled her closer roughly, helping her ride up and down the length of his erection over his pants, the sensations causing a low growl from deep within his throat. "_Liv_."

Olivia scratched her nails down his chest and stomach, stopping to unbutton and unzip his pants, then pulling his thick cock out from his boxer briefs and grasping him firmly in her hand. "I can't wait," she breathed hotly into his ear as she stroked him.

It then all became a rushed frenzy of lips, tongues, and skin.

Elliot pulled the crotch of her panties aside and thrust into her just as she slammed down onto him, knocking the wind from his lungs.

"Fuck, Elliot!" Olivia rotated her hips, grinding down hurriedly and whimpering with each upward thrust from Elliot.

He pulled down the strap of her dress and slipped one hand into her bra, rolling her peaked nipple between his fingers as the other hand continued to cling to her ass as she rode him.

Olivia lightly tugged his earlobe between her teeth, her breaths coming in pants against his skin. Her fingers dug into his shoulders while he dipped down to nip at her collarbone.

"Oh, God, El, I'm coming," she gritted out as her entire body tensed. Elliot slid a finger against her clit and tugged at her hair with his other hand, intensifying the sensation as she came so hard, she nearly saw stars.

Elliot groaned loudly as he watched and felt her climax, thrusting raggedly a few more times before spilling out inside of her. "Oh, _fuck, _you feel so damn good!" He yelled out as their bodies collapsed against her couch.

Once they caught their breaths, Olivia rested her sweat dampened forehead against his, slowly rubbing her lips against his own. "That was ridiculous," she chuckled.

Elliot breathed in her scent and caressed her hair. "I'm a lucky fucking bastard, I'll tell you that much. Does this mean I get this every night when you move in?"

She gave him a lopsided grin. "Only if you're a good boy."

He smiled and pressed soft kisses to her neck, feeling himself slip out of her body and sighing in frustration at the loss of contact. He closed his eyes and imagined what his life was going to be like from this moment forward. "Fair enough…I love you, Liv."

She'd never get tired of hearing those words.

"Mmm, love you too."

Elliot halted his actions to scan her apartment. "Damn, you have a lot of shit, when do you think you'll be able to move in?"

She laughed and climbed out of his lap, adjusting her dress as she sat beside him on the loveseat. "As soon as you help pack up all my _shit_, as you call it. Seriously, though, my lease is a month to month now, so I can be out by the end of the month if you want…"

He leaned in to kiss her lips and mumbled against them, "The sooner the better."


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Holy crap, this chap wrote itself! LOL This is a short one, but important. Enjoy, I hope! **

Olivia sighed as the cool breeze floated in through the half opened window, caressing her bare skin. She stretched languidly and rolled over to glance at Elliot's form. He had one hand thrown over his head and the other at his side, the sheets barely grazing his pelvis. She smiled mischievously as she slid down to trail kisses from his navel to the base of his resting member.

"Time to wake up, baby," she whispered throatily, her voice clouded with sleep.

Elliot didn't stir.

She pulled the sheets down past his thighs and took him into her mouth, slowly swirling her tongue as he began to harden in his sleep. She moaned softly at the sensation of him growing thick in her mouth.

Elliot sighed softly as his body began to rouse.

Olivia then dragged her nails lightly up and down his torso, causing him to jerk awake, the look of shock and confusion on his face making her chuckle lowly with him still inside of her.

One he got his bearings, Elliot watched her beneath hooded eyes, his breathing beginning to quicken at the sight and feeling of her warm, wet tongue and mouth enveloping him whole. He groaned when she continued her ministrations while maintaining eye contact.

"Come here," he motioned to her, sitting up slightly to squeeze her ass and tug her hips in his direction, leading her lower half to hover over his face.

Olivia groaned, sending vibrations of pleasure throughout his body when his tongue dragged over her clit. He felt her release his dick momentarily and heard her cry out. "Oh, God, Elliot."

"It's okay, Liv…you taste so good." He mumbled against her nether lips before plunging his tongue firmly inside of her entrance.

"_Fuck_," she squirmed as she arched her body, nearly losing herself in the feeling of his relentless tongue before continuing to work on his dick with her own once again.

Elliot could barely breathe as he felt her sucking and licking him to the point where he could no longer speak, just moan and grit out words that were unintelligible.

Olivia rarely enjoyed going down on a man, but with Elliot it was completely different. She trusted and loved him and wanted to please him as much as he pleased her…as much as possible. Sexually and otherwise. She reveled in his texture, his taste and especially in the sounds of excitement she ripped from him, his voice low and gravely, straining to containing itself.

She moaned as his tongue moved to swirl and lap over her clit, her body tightening with every flick over the sensitized area. Elliot's muffled sounds caused vibrations against her, taking her right to the edge.

"Mmmph," she whined as she felt one hand reach between them to slide over her breast while the other hand continued its tight grip on her ass cheek. She was done for. She shuttered and moaned, wanting to scream, but trying to maintain the pressure on his dick as she came against his waiting lips.

"Liv, _shit_!" He shouted as he shook and filled her hungry mouth.

Olivia collapsed onto her side; gasping for air and looking somewhat shell shocked, but completely satisfied nonetheless. "Oh, God," she panted."

"Fuck," Elliot groaned again, trying to calm his heart rate and breathing. He flipped over to lie beside her, both of their heads at the foot of the bed now, and leaned in to kiss her, tasting himself on her tongue. "Can't say I've done that before," he chuckled against her skin.

Olivia pulled back a bit to run her hand over his cheek and smiled. "Happy _actual _birthday, El."

"I'll say!" He laughed as he rolled her on top of his slowly cooling body. He ran his hands gently down her back and over the curve of her ass. "So I get _that _wake up call, plus you agreed to move in with me. I'm set til next year."

"Oh really now? And what are you going to ask for next year?"

"A pony of course," he rolled his eyes and gave her a quick peck on the lips.

"I swear, sometimes I don't know how you get any action, Stabler." Olivia climbed off of him and dodged his hand as he reached out to swat her behind. "I'm jumping in the shower," she said with a wink.

"Yeah, yeah. So, I was thinking maybe we should start packing your stuff today after work. You have to be out of here in a little over a week, so we'd better get moving."

"Sounds good, El. Meet me back here around eight?" She shouted her question as she turned on the faucet to run her shower.

"Okay, I'm gonna take off and catch a quick shower at the station. I have to be in early today."

"Okay, El…love you."

Elliot returned the sentiment as she stepped into the steamy tub. She sighed contentedly as she heard her front door close about five minutes later and wondered how the hell she got here.

**{EO}**

"Jesus, Olivia, do you think you have enough fucking shoes?" Elliot dropped the heavy box on his bedroom floor with a thud as he scowled at her.

"Must you comment on every item you carry in here?" Olivia asked with annoyance as she hung up the last pair of jeans and flopped onto their plush, new, king sized bed.

He rolled his eyes and lay down beside her, both of them staring up at the ceiling. "Well, that's everything at least…finally." He smiled as he felt her poke his ribs.

"Jeez, El, you'd think you never lived with a woman before."

"Not one with this many shoes!"

"Shut up!" He laughed as she swatted at his chest and she sat up to scan his room. Their room.

Holy fuck, _their_ room.

He still couldn't believe she even agreed to move in with him so easily, but he was ecstatic that she had. Olivia Benson was _his_…not that he'd ever let her hear that in those words unless he wanted a swift sock to the jaw; but he was beyond thrilled to be able to go to sleep with her every night and wake up with her every morning.

"What are you thinking about?" He pulled her back to lay down again, this time she curled into his side, with one arm thrown over his torso. He nuzzled into her hair as she began to speak.

"Just about how crazy this all is. How just a few short months ago we'd doubted that we'd even see one another again, you know?" Elliot nodded against her temple as she continued. "How much I want with you…it scares me sometimes, Elliot."

He pulled her closer into his body and ran a hand through her soft hair. "Olivia, if I didn't want everything with you, I never would have asked you to live with me. I'm scared too, but knowing that we both feel the same way makes it a hell of a lot easier to relax don't you think?"

She released a puff of air against his neck, tickling his skin. "It does, I just- I don't know how to talk to you about this because I know it's probably still too soon…"

"Just tell me, Liv. Neither of us is great at this communication crap, but I think we've been doing pretty well lately."

Olivia closed her eyes and took a deep breath, terrified that what she was about to say would be too much too soon for Elliot. Too much too soon for _her_.

"I was thinking that once we are more settled in here, that I'd go get checked out by my Gynecologist, I-"

Elliot pulled away and sat up to look at her. "Gynecologist? What's wrong? Are you –"

"Nothing, El." She sat up and placed a hand over his. "I'm fine, I just want to make sure that I'm able to get pregnant. It's a lot harder at my age and I know there are more risks, so…"

"Whoa, wait. Liv, why are you thinking about that now? We haven't even really talked about seriously giving this a try. We just haven't been using condoms anymore, but sometimes it takes more work than that."

Olivia blinked at him in shock. He was so casual about this. As if he'd just assumed all along that they would try to have a child. Her heart beat rapidly in her chest as a smile began to tug at her lips.

"Yeah?" she asked, wide grin lighting up her face.

Elliot chuckled and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Liv, I knew going into this that you wanted to be a mother. I want nothing more than to give that to you…to experience raising a child with you. In fact, I think we should start trying right now." He waggled his eyebrows at her as she tackled him down into the mattress.

He flipped them over and pressed his lips to hers, moaning softly as her mouth opened to him. When he pulled back, he noticed her eyes damp with unshed tears. "Aw, come on, Benson, don't get soft on me now," he whispered.

"You're pretty amazing sometimes, you know that?" She sniffed and then buried her face into his neck.

He lowered down on the bed and lifted the edge of her faded gray t-shirt, skimming his lips across her stomach. "You are going to be a pretty amazing mother, you know that?"

She smiled up at the ceiling when he traveled lower, taking her sweatpants with him as he continued his unhurried caresses.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Let me know what you think of this one all! Thanks, as always, to all who have reviewed! You are the best!**

"Damn it, El…negative." Olivia sat down heavily on the closed toilet seat, the plastic stick dangling loosely from her fingertips before dropping to the tiled floor.

"Shit," he cursed under his breath as he knelt in front of her. "We just have to keep trying, Liv." He ran his hands up and down her thighs in comfort.

Olivia sighed and squirmed away from his touch to stand up and walk into their bedroom. "All you had to do was _look_ at Kathy and she was pregnant…it's time for me to get checked out." She turned back toward Elliot who was sitting on the bathroom floor looking dejected.

"We're not going through this again. First of all, Eli was conceived over three years ago and I'm sure my sperm count is not the same; Second of all, we've only been seriously trying for four months and we knew it wasn't going to be easy. Stop blaming yourself…we'll both go to the doctor as soon as we can get appointments, okay?"

Olivia walked back into the bathroom and sat down beside him on the cold tile floor. She linked her arm through his and rested her head on his shoulder. "I just can't help but feel it's me, El. I- I just hope I can even _get_ pregnant, you know?"

Elliot smiled sadly and kissed the top of her head. "We have a lot of options, Liv…it's much too soon to panic about this. It's going to happen eventually and you can't tell me it hasn't been fun trying." He nudged her shoulder with his own playfully.

She cracked a half smile and buried her face in his neck. "Don't I know it, and I'm going to call Dr. Vargas now."

"Okay, I'll call Dr. Byrant. I bet they are both going to tell us that it's just going to take some time."

"I hope you're right."

**{EO}**

The following day, Elliot left his doctor's office with a clean bill of health. He would have the results regarding his semen analysis within two days. He thought he would feel relieved after Dr. Bryant told him he that he didn't see any reason why he would have a low sperm count or any other problems in that area. Instead, Elliot felt anxious. If he was fine, then Olivia may not be and it would confirm all of her negative thoughts. Her appointment had been scheduled for later that day and he figured he'd prepare himself for the worst, but hope for the best.

As he pulled into the driveway of his family's home to pick up Eli for the remainder of the day, he thought back to the day his youngest son was born. He'd missed out on being there for his birth, but he hadn't missed out on his life. Sure, he only was able to see him two or three times a week because of his work schedule, but he knew he was doing the best he could and felt fortunate that he and Kathy had a mutual and amicable divorce.

Every time he thought about raising a child with Olivia, one that would hopefully be only a few years younger than Eli, it always brought a smile to his face. Their baby would always have a big brother close to his or her age, a protector, along with a built in family of loving older siblings.

He just hoped a child was in the cards for him and Olivia.

"Hey, Kath, my little man ready to go?" He walked into the place that he called home for decades and as always, his stomach dropped just the slightest bit. He guessed it always would.

"Yup, it's all he's talked about all day." Kathy laughed as Eli came running in from the living room to clamp onto his father's legs.

"Daddy!"

"Hey, buddy!" Elliot scooped up his three year old and threw him over his shoulder causing him to squeal with laughter. "Ready for the park?"

"Let's go!" Eli shouted and waved goodbye to his mother as Elliot headed out the door.

Elliot laughed and tossed over his shoulder as he walked out, "I'll have him home by seven."

Kathy chuckled, leaning in to give Eli a kiss on the cheek and Elliot a squeeze on the shoulder. "Have fun you two."

**{EO}**

Eli and Elliot were making castles in the sandbox when Olivia spotted them. She smiled broadly watching the two interact, but couldn't help the sinking feeling she felt at the same time. Would she ever get to see Elliot interacting with _their_ child this way? Elliot had told her to meet them here after her ObGyn appointment and at the moment that seemed like a bad idea. She'd really needed to speak with Elliot about her appointment and she was afraid she wouldn't be able to with Eli there to distract them.

She moved to sit on a nearby bench and watched as Eli sifted through the sand with his red, plastic shovel, the tiny granules sliding into the castle shaped pail while Elliot poured in a small amount of water from his Poland Spring bottle to make the sand stick together. Hot tears began to sting her eyes and her throat clogged as she tried to stop the flow of emotion she felt. Would she ever know that kind of connection between parent and child? Elliot's children and the victims she worked with every day were her only regular contact with children. Would she even know _how_ to be a good mother? All she knew was that it was what she wanted more than anything. Well, almost anything. What she wanted the most was sitting in a small sandbox playing with his son, and at least she'd had that. Her breath hitched when he turned toward her, his eyes, bright in the sunshine, connecting with her own.

"Liv, how long you been just sitting there?" Elliot stood from the sandbox and brushed off his jeans.

She smiled and walked over to them, stiffening slightly as Elliot's strong arms embraced her. "I just got here a minute ago." She relaxed into him and gave him a quick kiss behind his ear. Now was not the time to go into detail about her appointment with Dr. Vargas. She pulled away and stepped into the sandbox, squatting beside Eli who was engrossed in creating the perfect sand castle. "And hello to you, baby," she said cheerfully.

Eli's brow furrowed as he stopped his hand from patting down the sand. "I'm _not_ a baby no more, Libia," he replied, apparently insulted.

Olivia looked up to exchange a smile with Elliot who just shrugged and shook his head. "Oh, I'm so sorry, you are _not_ a baby anymore, what was I thinking?" She ruffled Eli's soft hair as she stood up again and bumped shoulders with Elliot.

"How'd it go?" He whispered lowly into her ear, sending a chill down the length of her spine.

"She ran some hormone and ovulation tests…get the results tomorrow, but she thinks I'm going to need to take hormone pills."

Elliot wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her in to his side. "That's not so bad, huh? I'll get my results soon too and then we'll just keep trying."

"Yeah, I know…"

"Then what's the matter, Liv?" He rubbed his nose against her temple affectionately.

She turned her head to rub her lips softly against his. "There are side effects and I might just be putting my body through a lot and still not be able to conceive. Just a lot on my mind." She sighed as he pulled her in tighter.

"Don't jump the gun. Let's wait to make these decisions until after we get our test results back, you know?"

"I know." She smiled as Eli kicked over his perfect sand castle, effectively shooting sand in all directions, including all over her as he squealed with delight.

Elliot rolled his eyes at his son and laughed. "You _sure _you want one of these?" He teased.

**{EO}**

"Oh, God, El, right there!" Olivia screamed as he pounded into her body, his pubic bone rubbing against her clit with each thrust.

"_Fuck_," Elliot groaned as he rotated his hips in circles and slowed down the pace to keep her on the edge.

"_Please_," she gasped, feeling every inch of his length and girth dragging against her internally. She was leaning back on her arms and her legs were wrapped around his hips as he continued to relentlessly ravage her body.

Elliot also was sitting up with his arms bearing his weight behind him. He looked down between their glistening bodies to watch himself push in and pull out of her body, his dick slick with her wetness. "Shit." He knew he wouldn't last much longer, so he picked up the pace knowing it would also drive Olivia into oblivion.

"Hmmm," she whimpered, as she watched him pummel into her, her eyes then sliding over his abs, chest, and arms strained with tension. "Ohhh." She was right on the cusp, her entire body burning, throbbing for release when the phone rang piercingly beside her on the bedside table.

"Ignore it!" Elliot half yelped, half panted out, beads of sweats sliding down his forehead.

"Could be work," she choked out, glancing at the phone. "Fuck, El stop…stop!"

He immediately ceased his movements and attempted to suck in more oxygen. "What the-"

"Dr. Vargas," Olivia breathed as she dove for the phone. "Hello?"

"Hi, Olivia? Do you have a moment?" Dr. Vargas's voice floated through the earpiece, immediately causing her to tense.

"Of course, do you have the test results?" She eyed Elliot whose eyes widened with realization. They would finally know if there were any major barriers to their ability to conceive a child. His results had come in early and all of the tests were negative. It all came down to this possibly life altering phone call.

Elliot watched as Olivia bit her lower lip and ran a hand through her hair. He moved to sit behind her on the bed, surrounding her in his warmth with his arms, his hard chest pressed firmly against her back as she began to tremble slightly.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: You guys are the best with your encouragement of this story! Hope you enjoy this chapter and don't forget to let me know what you think after you read! :)**

Olivia shifted uncomfortably in the passenger seat of the sedan and swallowed harshly. Her throat felt dry and scratchy and her body was overheated. Her skin itched as beads of sweat began to roll down the back of her neck, the small hairs standing on edge. She gathered her hair from her nape and lifted it up into a ponytail, securing it with a brown elastic band. She wanted to jump out of her skin and every little thing he was doing was grating on her nerves.

She needed to get a hold of herself. Her job was being affected. Her relationships were being affected.

But she couldn't help it, she was _so_ fucking uncomfortable.

"Damn it, it's so hot in this car." Olivia rolled down her window and removed her jacket.

David watched her with amusement and rolled his eyes. "Benson, it's too cold outside to open the windows. What's with you lately? You're fine one minute and then you sweating the next…not to mention all the headaches you've been complaining about. Maybe you should see a doctor or something."

"I'm fine," she grumbled as she crossed her arms over her chest and stared out the open window, watching the other vehicles wiz by.

It had been over two months. Two months since she'd received the phone call from Dr. Vargas telling her there were problems with her ovulation cycle. The doctor had prescribed the hormone pill Clomid to help her conceive, but the side effects had been driving her crazy. She refused to complain much though, since her test results could have revealed much worse and she felt fortunate that she still had a chance of conceiving without resorting to more invasive treatments.

She glanced over at David guiltily, knowing that he had no clue why she hadn't been feeling or acting like herself lately, but she felt it was too personal to talk to him about. She sighed and rested her head back against her seat. "Sorry, David, it's just been a stressful couple of months, but I'm okay." She forced a smile and gave his shoulder a quick squeeze.

He looked over at her warily then shrugged his shoulders. "If you say so 'Livia, but you know I'm here for ya if you need to talk, okay?"

Her smile grew with his sweet words. Olivia felt very lucky that they had been able to get their partnership and friendship back on track after some initial rockiness after her break up with Jim. David was a loyal friend, but also a reasonable man, and finally came around to understanding why Olivia broke things off like she did. He even met up with her and Elliot for dinner now and then with his new girlfriend, Emma.

"I know you are, David…thank you. So are you and Emma still on for tonight for dinner at our place?"

"You know it…and I expect a feast fit for a king," he teased.

**{EO}**

After work, Olivia entered her and Elliot's apartment hoping to see a clean living space. They had agreed that Elliot would clean up while she picked up groceries for that night's meal with David and Emma. The couple would be there in about an hour and instead of a clean apartment, she saw Elliot sitting on the couch in his boxer-briefs with a beer in his hand watching the Jets game.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"What?" Elliot replied, his eyes never leaving the television.

Olivia slammed down the bags of groceries in exasperation and walked over to stand in front of the TV, hands on her hips. "_Really_?"

Elliot narrowed his eyes at her before they widened in realization. "Fuck! It's seven already?

"Yes, Elliot, and Bradford and Emma will be here in about an hour. I have to start dinner and the place is still a mess. What were you thinking?

"Obviously I wasn't," he groused as he put his beer on the coffee table and stood to scan the apartment. There were dirty dishes in the sink, clothes littered their bedroom, and the living room and bathroom needed to be straightened up. "Why didn't you call to remind me?"

"You're really going to make this my fault? I'm not your mother, El…I shouldn't have to call to tell you what to do!" Olivia felt her heart start to race and her body temperature rise. The hormone pills had been messing with her emotions and her body chemistry and Elliot had been getting the brunt of everything. She felt badly about it, but it also felt out of her control to some extent. She felt her cheeks burn and perspiration form at her hairline.

"Liv, calm down, let's just start cleaning up now, we have a little time before they get here and –"

"I am not helping you clean!" She now stood so close to him, their noses were practically touching. "I have to cook and the place should have been clean by the time I got home and instead I walk in to see you sitting there with your thumb up your ass."

Elliot took a step closer, their heaving chests now pressed together. He was an asshole. He was fucking turned on and his dick had a mind of its own. He couldn't help it; she was breathing heavily, flushed, and her eyes were filled with fire. He grabbed her hips and pulled them against his own causing him to release a sharp breath against her lips.

Olivia gasped when she felt him hard against her pelvis. He was the only man she'd ever been with that could get aroused during a fight with her. She shook her head and wrapped her arms around his neck, chuckling lowly despite herself. "You are unbelievable, you know that?"

"I just think you need to relax. You haven't been feeling well and all we do is bicker lately and we have to remember why we are going through all this, Liv." He slid a hand between them and into her panties to slowly stroke her with the pad of his index finger. He sighed when he felt her grow wet and press into him further.

"I'm scared, El," she breathed into his neck as she rested her head on his shoulder. "What if this doesn't happen for us?"

His other hand released her hip and undid her pants, sliding them over her hips to give him easier access. He then slipped two fingers inside of her while the other hand cupped the nape of her neck and stroked her hair. He smiled against her temple when he heard her soft moans. "It will happen for us. We just can't forget that we love each other in the process." His voice was low and gravely and he groaned when he felt her nails scratch lightly at his scalp as his fingers picked up the pace from within her body.

"I could never forget that…I'm sorry for being so cranky." She felt the heat continue to build low in her stomach as she started to contract around him. "Shit," she panted as his fingers curled inside of her, the heel of his hand rubbing against her clit. She moaned louder as he tugged at her hair, forcing her to look at him before he licked at her lips.

"So wet," he mumbled against her before slipping his tongue into her waiting mouth.

"Hmm" Olivia hummed into his mouth before pulling back to cry out her release, shuttering and clenching around his fingers.

"God, you are so damn sexy when you come." He slowly pulled his fingers from her body and kissed her again, giving her his breath as he walked her backwards towards the wall. He took her hand and slid it into his boxer-briefs as they stroked his length with their fingers intertwined.

Olivia grunted as her back thumped against the wall and squeezed him tighter, taking satisfaction as he broke their kiss to whisper her name. She quickly toed off her shoes and stepped out of her pants and panties, then tugged him free of his underwear. She moaned as he kneaded her breasts with one hand and used the other to hike her thigh high over his hip.

Elliot bent his knees slightly and sunk into her inch by inch, causing them both to groan in pleasure. "You feel so good, so tight." He nipped at her collarbone and neck as he moved within her.

Olivia gasped for air and dropped her head back against the wall as she bucked against him. He was right, they would be okay no matter what happened as long as they stuck together and remembered they were on the same team. Always the same team.

Elliot suddenly gripped her bottom and pulled her up, pinning her tightly between him and the wall as she squeezed her thighs against his hips and dug her feet into his ass. They moaned loudly at the new angle as he ground into her rapidly now. "Oh, God Liv I'm gonna come."

She whimpered as her second orgasm built up and his one hand released her ass to play with her nipple over her bra. "I love you, El. You feel so good."

"Love you," he panted into her ear as he exploded deep inside her. "Damn."

Olivia shuddered as she felt his warmth fill her from within and cried out when he bit her nipple lightly through her top, riding another wave of pleasure as she squeezed her thighs even tighter around him. "Fuck, Elliot!"

They slid down to the floor and breathed together as Olivia rested her head on his chest and listened to his rapid heartbeat. "Thank you," she said breathlessly.

Elliot smiled and ran his hand down the length of her spine. "For what?"

She laughed lowly. "For pounding some sense into me."

They both chuckled and gave her ass a light squeeze. "Anytime, beautiful."

A knock at the door shook them from the moment and they both sat up abruptly. "_Shiiit_," they said in unison as they realized their guests had arrived a bit early.

"Hey Benson, we're hungry out here and I don't smell anything cooking. Don't tell me we're gonna have to order take out." David's voice boomed from behind the door as Olivia and Elliot flopped back down on the floor laughing.

So much for hosting the perfect evening.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Sorry for the long delay, but after the Meloni news I was in a bit of a writing slump. Anyway, this chapter is hopefully one you have been waiting for and I hope you like it! Let me know what you think :)**

Olivia walked out of the bathroom on unsteady legs and sat down on the bed. Her hands shook as she stared again at the thin white stick with the pale pink plus sign but she didn't want to get too excited as she'd been in this situation before and the blood work turned out negative. Elliot had just left for work and she didn't want to call him until she knew this was definite. The corner of her mouth curled up into a half smile as everything began to sink in.

She could actually be pregnant. With Elliot's baby. Her stomach flipped in nervous excitement as she placed the pregnancy test on the bed and reached for the phone.

She took a deep breath and tried not to let her emotions take over, an increasingly difficult task with the hormone pill she had been taking. With a trembling finger, she carefully dialed her ObGyn's number.

"Hi, I'd like to schedule an emergency appointment with Dr. Vargas for this afternoon…"

Her heart raced as she arranged the appointment for three o' clock that afternoon. This was definitely going to be a long day.

**{EO}**

Olivia had been waiting in Dr. Vargas's office for the past ten minutes, overwhelmed with a sense of déjà vu. She hadn't been that productive or gotten a single significant thing accomplished all day as she wondered; would this just be another false positive? What were the chances of that happening twice in one lifetime? She was not a religious woman, but she said a quick prayer to whatever higher power she could think of as her doctor entered the room with possibly life altering news once again.

"Okay, Olivia, we have a few things to discuss." Dr. Vargas smoothed back her dark hair and sat at her desk, her expression serious.

Olivia clutched the arm of her chair so hard her knuckles turned white as a feeling of lightheadedness took over her body. "Tell me," she said hoarsely.

Dr. Vargas smiled and handed Olivia a sheet of paper with the test results of her blood work. "Congratulations, you're pregnant."

"Pregnant?" Olivia whispered as she stared blankly at the page in front of her.

Dr. Vargas chuckled. "Yes, pregnant…but we need to discuss the special precautions you need to take as an older mother to be."

"Mother to be…"

"Yes…Olivia, are you okay?" Dr. Vargas stood from her desk and walked over to place a hand on Olivia's shoulder. "Can I get you some water?"

"No…no, I just-pregnant." The smile slowly crept onto her face as the incredible news sunk in.

This was real. It was finally happening.

Her eyes glazed over as she listened to Dr. Vargas go over the risk factors of pregnancy over age forty and how to best take care of herself. Olivia had already researched the hell out of that and knew all about the possible complications.

All she could think about now was Elliot. She had been nearly bursting at the seams holding in the news of her positive test from that morning, but now she had to wait a whole day to tell him.

She'd come up with a plan that afternoon for a fun way to deliver the big news, and she'd have to wait until the next day to implement it. They had promised to take Eli to the zoo and she knew she wanted him to be involved in telling Elliot.

The challenge now was going to be keeping her mouth shut until then.

It all felt surreal as she left the doctor's office and walked to her car. Was she dreaming? Were she and Elliot _really_ going to have a baby together? Her eyes misted over as she sat down and started the engine. It _was_ real, it was…and as the tears streamed down her cheeks she finally knew what it meant to get everything she'd wanted.

eoeoeo

Olivia left the children's store clutching her purchase in her hand and smiled to herself as she imagined the look on Elliot's face the next day. A buzzing from her phone disconnected her from her thoughts and her smile grew wider as she saw Elliot's name flash on the screen.

She sucked in a deep breath and tried her best to sound normal. "Hey El, what's up?"

"Hey, I just got off the phone with Kathy and she asked me if I'd mind picking Eli up around seven and keeping him overnight. She made some last minute plans with some new guy she's seeing and will be out late. I told her it's fine…we'll just stay in and watch a movie with him tonight. That okay?"

Olivia's heart raced at the thought of being able to tell him the news sooner. She squeezed the shopping bag tightly in her hand and answered. "Of course that's okay. You know I love our Eli sleepovers. I'll pick up some dinner on the way home. See you soon."

**{EO}**

Later that evening, Olivia was cutting up a slice of pizza on a plate for Eli when he came barreling through the door.

"Hi, Libia!" Eli ran over to hug her legs, nearly knocking her over.

Olivia laughed and scooped him into an embrace. "How's my buddy?"

"Hungry!" he shouted, and then laughed loudly as Olivia tickled him.

Elliot stood in the doorway for a moment, watching the two with a wide grin before placing Eli's backpack on the ground and heading into the kitchen. He placed a hand on the back of Olivia's neck and pulled her into a languid kiss.

"Ewwww!" Eli shrieked as he squirmed out of Olivia's grasp and ran into the living room to flop onto the couch and cover his eyes.

Olivia laughed as Elliot rolled his eyes at his son's antics.

Elliot swatted her ass as he ran into the living room to tackle his son on the couch causing Eli to burst into a giggle fit.

"Come on you two, let's eat and then there might be a surprise after dinner if you are good," she said with a wink as she turned to finish dishing out the slices and pouring the drinks.

Elliot furrowed his brow at her as Eli bounced over to the kitchen.

"Surprise?" Eli questioned with excitement.

"Yup, a big one too!" Olivia widened her eyes at Eli and Elliot as she sat down at the table to eat her pizza.

"Liv?"

"After dinner, El," she smiled as she bit into her slice.

eoeoeo

After dinner was finished, Olivia offered to give Eli his bath if Elliot would clean up the kitchen and do the dishes.

Now, Eli was standing in the bathroom wrapped in a towel, watching as Olivia opened the cabinet to remove her purchase from that afternoon.

"Want to know the surprise now, Eli?" she whispered as she tugged the "Big Brother to Be" t-shirt over his head.

His big blue eyes widened in curiosity as Olivia pulled on his pull ups and pajama bottoms. He nodded and leaned into her, placing his ear in front of her mouth as though waiting for some big secret.

Olivia chuckled and wrapped her arms around his little body in a light hug. "You are going to be a big brother…that's what your shirt says. Daddy and I are going to have a baby."

"A baby? He smiled brightly as he pulled out of her arms and tugged at his t-shirt trying to read what it said.

"Yup, a baby and now I need you to show daddy your shirt so we can tell him the surprise too, okay?"

"Okay! I go now!" Eli shouted and ran out into the living room to find his father.

Olivia smiled and shook her head, following close behind him so she could see Elliot's reaction.

"Daddy, daddy, look! I be a big brudder!" He hopped into Elliot's lap on the couch and proudly showed him the t-shirt.

"What's that buddy? What are you –big brother?"

Olivia watched Elliot's lips move as he read the words printed on his son's shirt. She held her breath and time stopped as she watched the look of realization flash on his face, his bright eyes meeting hers. She smiled and nodded at him, her eyes tearing as she watched his Adam's apple bob in his throat, knowing he was holding back emotion.

"Liv," he choked out, placing Eli on the couch cushion and rushing over to her. "Really?"

Olivia flung her arms around his neck and nodded against his cheek. "I got the blood work done already and everything. We're gonna have a baby."

Elliot closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around her, pressing her close to his body. He could feel her heart pounding rapidly against him and he imagined it mirrored his own. "I love you," he whispered. "You're going to be a mother…"

Olivia sniffled and held him tighter. They stood swaying slowly for a while when she felt a tug at her pants leg. She looked down to see a confused looking Eli looking up at her.

"Libia, when comes the baby? Do I hafta share my toys?" He looked around the room, seemingly for the baby as Olivia and Elliot laughed together, unable to let the other out of their arms.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Thanks for all the awesome reviews and encouragement! The story is winding down and there is probably just one or 2 chaps left. Hope you like this one and don't forget to let me know what you think :)**

"I don't know about this..."

"Liv, I promise it's fine. I've been through this four times before."

"Not the right time, El."

"Sorry, you're right." Elliot skimmed his lips over hers to silence her fears.

She moaned softly as his tongue slid inside her mouth to slowly massage her own. She felt his hand move down to remove the last barrier between their naked bodies, sliding her panties down her long legs; the silky sensation, along with Elliot's fingertips grazing over her over sensitized body, causing her to shiver.

"Mmmm," she hummed into his mouth before pulling away. "Are you sure this won't hurt the baby?" Her brow furrowed as she felt him laugh against her lips then pull away.

"Way to kill the mood, Liv." He rolled over and continued laughing as she glared at him.

"I'm serious…I'm four months pregnant now. The baby can feel these things."

Elliot rolled back on top of her with a wide smile. "I promise I will not hurt the baby…and you seemed pretty into this about five minutes ago, by the way; but if it makes you feel better, I'll be very, _very_ gentle." His voice was low in her ear and it sent a new surge of desire throughout her body.

The pregnancy hormones would kill her yet.

She sighed, still a bit unsure, as she finally decided to submit to him. Her pulse quickened as he ran his hand over the curve of her stomach, the stomach that held their child, and down to cup the wet heat between her legs. His lips closed over a nipple, sucking slowly, gently, maddeningly as a finger slipped inside of her to stroke her just as unhurriedly. "Elliot," she gasped. Her body arched into him and she closed her eyes as his warm, wet tongue made every nerve ending in her body hum. "_God_."

Elliot exhaled sharply against the soft skin of her breast and brought the finger that was just inside of her up slightly to lightly circle her clit, applying just the barest hint of pressure. His mouth moved to languidly lick between her breasts while his free hand shifted to trace his thumb across her parted lips.

It was not enough. It was too much.

"Elliot," she breathed. "I want- I…"

"Tell me what you want, baby."

"Oh, God."

No longer able to take his slow pace, even though it was what she originally wanted, Olivia pulled out from underneath him, her body on fire and throbbing with need, and rolled on top of him. She smiled at the expression of surprise on his face at this turn of events and kissed him…hard. When she finally pulled away, she captured his bottom lip between her teeth, sucking gently before releasing.

"Fuck, Liv."

She made her way down his body hungrily as her teeth lightly tugged at his skin, then sunk into the soft flesh at the inside of his thigh. She felt him jolt and heard him groan loudly, the sound making her wetter than she already was.

Olivia looked up at him and arched an eyebrow before taking him into her mouth. She groaned at the sensation of him growing even thicker, harder inside of her and she ran her nails down his torso.

"_Shit._" He practically hissed as the warmth of her mouth surrounded him. His heart rate quickened and his breaths began to come in strained pants. "I can't…I need to be inside you."

She briefly released him to smirk. "You _are_ inside me." Then she enveloped him once again, sucking him slow and deep.

The fingers of one hand dug into her shoulder as the other tangled in her hair. "Now, Liv," he gritted through clenched teeth.

Her eyes met dark blue as she climbed over him, hovering teasingly.

"Now," he growled, grabbing his dick and lining it up with her slick entrance. He grabbed her hips and sunk in so deep he could barely breathe for a long moment.

"Oh God," she whimpered, almost sounding pained. He was so hard and pulsating inside of her and she couldn't help but move over him rapidly as her skin burned with electricity.

She felt him tighten beneath her as one hand released the iron grip on her thigh to graze over her softly rounded belly and press his thumb gently against her clit. Her breath hitched then released as the waves of pleasure rolled through her body.

Elliot then grabbed her hips to hold her still above him, circled his pelvis a few times, and she could no longer hold on. She threw her head back and had to force herself not to scream, the intensity almost excruciating as she came.

"Fuck, Liv." He grinded up into her and lost himself just moments after. He exhaled a laugh as they came down from their highs and Olivia slid under the covers next to him, still breathing heavily.

"Okay, you won that argument." Olivia smiled against his neck knowing there had to be a cocky grin plastered on his face.

"I think we both won."

**{EO}**

Later that morning, after Elliot had left for work, Olivia glanced around their bedroom, feeling a flutter of anxiety. It was her day off and she'd planned to clean the apartment, but instead of wanting to tackle the task with her usual energy, she felt completely exhausted. There were dirty clothes mixed with clean ones on the floor and the bed was still unmade, not to mention the disaster that was the rest of the apartment.

She took in a shuddering breath and sat down on the bed, clutching her abdomen. For the first time she stopped to think…what if she couldn't do this? _How_ was she going to do this? She and Elliot barely had the time to take care of themselves, let alone a baby. She grasped at her shirt over the slight swell and thought about her own mother briefly before tamping the emotions down. She then thought about Elliot's mother and wondered how anybody grew up right.

She was suddenly terrified. She finally had what she wanted most and now she was panicking. Her hands grew clammy and her heart raced as she struggled to catch her breath. She closed her eyes against the spinning room and lay back on the bed.

Would her mother's ghost continue to taunt her as she tried to raise her child the best she knew how? She inhaled slowly, then exhaled a long rush of air. She had to get out of there. Go somewhere where she _knew_ what she was doing and felt confident in doing so.

She refused to spend her day dwelling on her fears.

**{EO}**

By the time she entered the precinct, Olivia was feeling much better. She'd called Elliot on her way over and he'd helped to quell her worries with his usual reassurance of her abilities as a mother. He'd also reminded her again that she wasn't doing this alone and something had shifted inside of her, easing her anxiety.

She smiled as she spotted her partner with a look of confusion on his face as she walked toward him.

"Hey, Benson, what are you doing in today?" David walked over to her and rested his large hands on her stomach and squatted down to address her slight bump. "What's up junior detective?"

Olivia rolled her eyes and slapped his hands away. "David, I'm not pregnant enough for you to touch my belly, we've been over this already." She walked over to her desk and put her purse in the drawer. "And I know it's my day off, but I'm just in for an hour or two to finish up my paperwork on the Mercado case."

"Okay, well, just to warn you, Jim should be here any minute to meet me to grab lunch. Um, want to join us?" David scrunched up his face and tilted his head at his obviously ridiculous question.

Olivia's stomach dropped at the thought of seeing Jim again for the first time since their break up. Since she broke his heart and left him for Elliot. Since he told her he never wanted anything to do with her ever again.

Oh God this was going to be awkward as hell.

"Shit," she muttered under her breath as David looked on apologetically.

"It's okay, Livia…Jim's actually dating someone and seems really happy.

Olivia opened her mouth to respond when she spotted Jim heading into the squad room. She swallowed hard when his eyes held her gaze.

"Olivia…" Jim shot a look at David before addressing her further. "Didn't realize you'd be here."

"Hi Jim…" Was she supposed to hug him, shake his hand, kiss his cheek? She chose to just stand there and look everywhere except for his bright green eyes.

Jim cleared his throat and straightened his posture. "So, I heard the joyful news. Congratulations," he said with a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

Olivia narrowed her eyes at him briefly, then decided it wasn't worth it to be snarky. She heaved a sigh and sat down in her chair. "Thanks," she murmured as she started up her computer.

David elbowed Jim in the ribs causing him to double over and cough.

"Dude!"

"_Dude_," David warned.

Jim exhaled harshly and went over to Olivia. "Look, Olivia, I mean it…I'm happy for you. Despite everything, I- I know you are going to make an incredible mother." He shifted awkwardly as Olivia's face softened and looked up at him. "Anyway, you look great and, uh…"

"Thank you, Jim." She grabbed his hand and gave it a light squeeze as they shared a soft smile.

Jim and David left moments later, leaving Olivia alone once again with her thoughts, but this time she wasn't panicked; instead she felt a sense of peace and calm wash over her. She was shocked that even Jim thought she'd make a good mother, that he was over his anger enough to tell her so. Maybe others saw something in her she couldn't see herself. Maybe she'd be able to do this after all, especially with Elliot by her side.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: So this is it …the final chapter! I really enjoyed writing this one, and a lot of that had to do with the awesome reviewers! I also have to thank Cori, for the beta and support, Lauren(aka Bean) and Karen for the occasional suggestions, encouragement, and overall awesomeness! Hope this ending doesn't disappoint :)**

Elliot and Olivia waited anxiously as the monitor suddenly came to life with the image of their child. All of the air rushed from her lungs as Dr. Vargas slid the probe across Olivia's eight month pregnant belly, the cold gel causing her to shiver. Seeing her baby never got old and she couldn't wait to meet him or her. It was that moment that she looked over at Elliot who was grinning from ear to ear and made a decision. "El, I think I want to know the sex now."

Elliot squeezed her hand and brushed a stray lock of hair from her forehead. "Are you sure? You wanted to be surprised all this time." He looked over at Dr. Vargas. "I've been trying to convince her to let me find out if it's a boy or a girl for months now."

Olivia chuckled and nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure. I want to know, I do."

Dr. Vargas smiled and looked at the excited couple. "Okay, you are absolutely positive now, right Olivia?"

Olivia glanced at Elliot and then Dr. Vargas. "Definitely." Her heart raced and she could hear Elliot's breaths quicken.

"Well, congratulations, you are having a baby boy!"

"A boy…" Olivia's eyes grew damp as Elliot kissed her lips softly.

"I couldn't be happier, Liv." Elliot pressed his forehead to hers and swallowed hard, his emotions seemingly stuck in his throat.

"Did you two pick out a name for each sex just in case? Dr. Vargas continued to listen to the baby's heartbeat through her stethoscope as she interrupted their moment.

"Yes," Elliot said proudly. "James Christopher Stabler."

"Very nice!" Dr. Vargas removed the stethoscope and turned off the sonogram monitor. "Now, I'm going to have to be serious here for a moment you two. You only have a month to go before your due date and this time is critical. I'm going to put you on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy due to the high risk for premature delivery, okay Olivia?"

Olivia sighed and shifted uncomfortably. "I knew there was a chance of that happening, but thought everything was going smoothly…"

"It is, and we need to keep it that way, understood?" Dr. Vargas gave her a soft smile which defied her firm words.

"Yeah, I know." Olivia rested her head against Elliot's broad shoulder. "How the hell am I supposed to sit in bed for an entire month?"

Elliot groaned imagining the month ahead and a restless, cranky Olivia. This was going to be fun.

**{EO}**

"_Elliot_," Olivia warned. "Quit fawning over me, will you? I'm on bed rest, not my death bed!"

It had only been two weeks since her last doctor visit and she was just about ready to lose her mind. She knew Elliot was only being sweet and helpful, but she was so uncomfortable and agitated, and _so fucking bored_. She hated feeling so fragile and, more or less, useless. Pretty much everything he did had been irritating her the last few days.

"Liv, will you just relax and allow me to take care of you for once. Damn it, you are really irking me, you know that?

"_I'm_ irking _you_?" She asked incredulously.

"Yeah, as a matter of fact you kind of are," Elliot stood from the bed and lifted his chin at her in challenge.

Olivia huffed out a breath and struggled to sit up straighter, her protruding belly impeding the way. She rocked from side to side, struggling and out of breath before finally giving up and lying back down. "Son of a bitch," she muttered breathlessly.

Elliot took in the scene that played out before him before bursting into laughter despite himself. He watched as Olivia's expression went from angry, to mildly annoyed, to amused as she joined him with a giggle fit of her own.

He climbed over her on the bed and hovered over her swollen body, then kissed the tip of her nose. "Truce?"

"Truce…I'm sorry," she chuckled, pulling him as close to her body as possible without crushing her stomach. She strained to lean up and forward to kiss his lips, before exhaustedly dropping back down atop the pillows.

Elliot raised an eyebrow at her and stared at her parted lips. "You know," he said in a low rasp, "I think part of the problem here is that we haven't really been able to…"

"El…"

"Let me make you come, Olivia."

She whimpered as he rolled his hips against her sweat pant clad lower half.

"I'll make you come hard and then you'll be able to rest," he whispered hotly into her hair.

Her body prickled with desire at his words. "Oh God, El…okay." She squeezed her eyes shut as Elliot slid down her body and lowered her sweats, his hot tongue connecting with her clit. "Feels so good…"

Maybe they'd be able to relieve that boredom yet.

eoeoeo

An hour later, Olivia and Elliot had been enjoying a blissful nap together when a sudden and sharp pain ripped through her abdomen, startling her from her sleep.

"Ow..shit! Elliot, wake up, something's wrong."

Elliot immediately shot up from the bed and grabbed his Blackberry. "Contractions, baby?"

"I don't know, El, it's too soon…oh God." Her face contorted in discomfort as another sharp, intense sting passed through her, stealing her breath.

"Okay, stay calm; I'm going to call Dr. Vargas now." Elliot dialed the phone with one hand while the other cupped Olivia's face, his thumb rubbing the apple of her flushed cheek soothingly.

Due to the high risk pregnancy, Dr. Vargas instructed Elliot to take Olivia to the hospital to be examined right away. Olivia tried to breathe through the pain that was coursing through her body about every five to ten minutes as they got ready and headed to Montefiore Medical Center. Her forehead was soaked in sweat and Elliot did his best not to panic, but she wasn't due for another two weeks and everything was coming as a surprise, especially the amount of pain she was suffering through.

Neither would admit it to the other, but they were scared as hell.

**{EO}**

"Placenta Previa?" Elliot furrowed his brow at Dr. Vargas as she presented them with Olivia's problem.

"Yes, it's somewhat common in mothers to be over forty and it can cause severe bleeding during delivery which can endanger both Olivia and the baby."

Elliot clutched the chair he was sitting in beside Olivia as a wave of lightheadedness took over his body. Olivia was staring at the ceiling, inhaling deeply through the oxygen tubes in her nostrils. Elliot could tell she was trying to remain stoic, but he couldn't help notice a tear fall from the corner of her eye to recede into her hairline. He gripped her hand tighter as Dr. Vargas continued.

"Luckily these complications can be prevented if we do an emergency cesarean delivery, or C-section, as they are most commonly called. The placenta is covering most of your cervix Olivia, so we will have to deliver right away."

"Okay, whatever you have to do to keep James safe." Her voice was shaky and it broke Elliot's heart. He hated that her first, and most likely only, experience with child birth had to be this way. He caressed her knuckles with the pad of his thumb as the doctor continued to explain the procedure, both of them calming down somewhat as they learned that it was quite common and not much more risky than a natural birth.

As they prepared Olivia for the C-section, Elliot kissed her lips and said a quick prayer. "I love you, Liv…it's time to meet our baby."

eoeoeo

Tears had streamed down her face as James Christopher was placed on Olivia's chest at 2:46pm. He weighed five pounds ten ounces and had a set of lungs that made his parents proud.

The delivery had been risky, but everything had worked out in the end, much to Elliot's relief. A perfectly healthy, albeit tiny, baby boy and his strong and amazing mother had pulled through.

Elliot looked on with tears in his eyes as Olivia now sat with James cradled in her arms in their bed. They'd been in the hospital for four days after his birth due to his low weight and Olivia's C-section, but now his family was home and Elliot could finally feel at peace. They were beautiful and his heart burst with intense love and happiness.

He smiled as James yawned and Olivia softly cooed at him. He'd never seen her happier. He'd barely left their side during their hospital stay, but did sneak away for an hour one day when Olivia was asleep to make a special purchase. Elliot reached over into his bedside drawer to remove a small box that contained a gold necklace whose pendant spelled out the word fearlessness in block letters. It was the same type of necklace she'd given to Dana Lewis some time ago to give the FBI agent strength during a difficult period.

Elliot held the delicate piece of jewelry in his hand and looked at it for a moment before moving over in the bed to brush Olivia's hair aside and kiss her neck. She had truly proven her independence, working without him, living without him. They'd eventually found their way back to one another, but even that wasn't without its struggles. He smiled into her neck thinking about how much he admired her and all she'd put her body through the past year, to give life and become a mother. She'd done it despite all the complications and risks involved.

"I got you a little something, Liv." He slid in behind her on the bed and wrapped his arms around his family, giving a light squeeze before showing her the necklace.

"Elliot," she whispered as he linked the chain at the nape of her neck. "Thank you…"

"You are the bravest, strongest woman I know. In the past two years alone, you've made me see that even more. Despite all the ups and down in our almost fifteen years of knowing one another, there's no one else I'd rather be with every day." Elliot swallowed harshly and rested his chin on her shoulder, looking down at the newest Stabler. "This little miracle is just further proof of how fearless you are."

Olivia craned her neck to look back at him with moist eyes. "I know it hasn't always been easy, and I definitely know we will still have our problems…" She paused as they both chuckled knowingly and Olivia wiped at the moisture under her eyes. "… but I'm so in love with you, Elliot, and you need to know that although I may be brave, you make me even stronger."

Elliot smiled and whispered "I love you" against her lips; overjoyed in realizing that the last piece of the puzzle was finally in place. Olivia wasn't the only one who was fearless; together, and now with James, they exuded more strength as a unit then he'd ever thought possible alone. As he continued to move his lips against hers, he felt all of the passion, excitement, love, and respect he'd had for her since the first time they'd kissed. And now...now she was the mother of his child as well. They'd both faced and overcome their fears to get here. Here, with everything he'd wanted for the past few years right there in his arms.


End file.
